Lady Gaga's Return from Oz

I like Lady Gaga. She's great. Fun catchy music that I can bounce around to. I'm definitely not as well versed as some of my other friends in all of her songs, but I get by. Everyone knows her strange yet original sense of fashion and style and what not. I mean to each her own eh?

Well imagine my surprise when I happened upon her new album cover art.

OptimusGaga

WHAT THE?!!?

She's a motorcycle humanoid thing. Cool? Thinking for a moment "wow another fun original thing." Then it hit me. She's totally a poser! She just wants to be a part of that most awesomely bad/cool gang known as The Wheelers from the 1985 Return to Oz.

"hey baby, let's go for a ride."

If you haven't seen the film, no worries. You're not missing much. Well maybe a little. A tree that grows lunch pails!? An awesome furniture/moosehead creature called a Gump. Some creepy woman who switches out her head like hats. Oh, and a really young Faruza Balk playin Dorothy escaping a mental institution that's trying to electroshock that Oz outta her.

I mean I guess, going back to Gaga, it's come full circle now. Wearing an outfit of Kermit heads to wannabe Wheeler (Jim Henson's son Brian voiced Jack Pumpkinhead in Return to Oz).

What's next Lady? Pulling a David Bowie from Labryinth?



Your remind me of the babe



A Place Where Nobody Dared to Go

Oh but we dared to go there. And that place was called XANADU!!!

Imagine my glee when I perused my netflix list and saw that Xanadu was playing on Instant. Why of course I'll watch it now! The next 1 hour and 35 minutes were pure mind-numbing W.T.F.-ery.
Words cannot describe how aweful and good this film is. So good because it's extremely silly and seriously how does a person go from being a painter to opening a roller disco? Was she really sent from Olympus to inspire this roller rink? The Gods must be crazy.

Here's a brief rundown of this awesomely bad 80's film:
A down on his luck artist is inspired by one of the Greek muses to band together with some old dude who used to be a famous jazz clarinetist to open the world's most awesome roller disco rink named Xanadu. Music by Electric Light Orchestra. The End.

Human light-brite

Oh but wait! There's also a lovey-dovey sequence that's entirely animated and is reminscent of Ferngully. Everyone gets outlined in neon. Apparently Mt. Olympus is just one giant discoteque. And that old guy? It's Gene Kelly! Gene, singin' in the rain, Kelly! If you can wrap your head around that then nothing can phase you from this film. Except maybe the absurdity of that roller rink.

dude, no means no

The musical moments are either really cute (a la the cartoon sequence) or suuuppper weird (the rest of the film). Where did all those people come from? Why are they dancing like that? Are they being racist?!
The only fantastic moment was when they did a mash-up of a jazzy, Andrew sisters type song with an 80's punk song. Classic. Literally a precursor to Glee mash-ups.

Montage of weird songs!

I could go on and on about everything in this film. Like poor Gene Kelly.  But, watching the film for yourself would just be best.

You could like it so much that you get a tat like this one...

Oh yeah, the guy who plays Sonny was totally Swan in The Warriors... should have stuck with the gang films Sonny.

Would you rather build a roller rink or kick some ass?

Tofurkey is such a liar

I'm all game for making tofu into something it's not. A brick, replica of an adobe pueblo, animal shapes. But I must say, tofurkey was the biggest disappointment ever. Not only what I hoping for a giant turkey shaped piece of tofu, but I thought, how funny would that be that I served that and people would be too polite to point out it tasted really weird. Like tofu weird.

No. I was wrong.

Don't know how long ago it was. But I do remember the sharp pang of WTF as I walked around the grocery store looking to make the funniest dinner gag ever. What I found was a cube sized box, and what I found inside the box looked like this:

nestling it in a bed of veggies doesn't make it anymore appealing

That's not tofurkey! What is that?! what's in that?! It's like some giant alien egg that'll end up popping out of your chest later.

"omg it was the tofurkey!"

Anyways, disappointed that it didn't actually look like this fake turkey, but it did taste pretty awesome.

not sure what's happening with that stuffing

What other things do you think tofu could be made into? Tobeef? Tofish, tofeal?

Well it's been a while.. gummi whaa?!

I started reading someone else's blog today and realized, holy crap! i forgot i had one.
Massive fail on my part.

Anyways. Quick thought. Did you know gummi bears (Haribo brand to be exact) contain gelatin? And most gummi products do as well? thanks patrick. now i'm grossed out. For those of you who don't know what's in gelatin, I direct you to HERE.

Of course knowing what it is, may not stop me from eating Haribo bears/peaches/worms what have you. Probably yes... :(

But on the upside, I'll just start eating vegan ones instead... skeptical on those too as I'm pretty sure boiled bones are what make gummi bears so damn good.

well not human bones

As i just posted that picture, I realized Jell-O also has gelatin in it... blech! i guess no more jell-o shots either.

Now if only gelatin products were made out of these:

I would totally eat that