What is the deal with gifts?
We agonize over what someone would really enjoy or like, or at least I do. It takes hours just to figure out if it's a) a good enough gift b) it won't bite me in the ass financially.
I know I should be saving this post for the Christmas time, but a lot of my dear friends have birthdays this month so I've been running rampant through the city trying to find perfect gifts that won't out do the holiday gifts I'll be getting for people. That's right I'm a jerk to myself. It's like the I'm trying to be an overachiever to myself, sticking it to me, which is kind of lame. But, knowing that I'll be financially strapped this time around, I'm getting pretty good at the frugal purchases that are still meaningful.
Let discuss the notion of gifting. It's very important to get a gift that someone will enjoy (or at least you think they'll enjoy it), but also be aware that if you're unsure that that person may inevitably not like, it may end up being re-gifted. Let's start there...
It's not really rude to re-gift. As the way things go, it's like a donation. You're not going to use it so you might as well give it to someone who will. BUT a few words to the wise:
1) Don't show your disappointment at a gift given. Fawn over it, love it, write a thank you note. Then surreptitiously put it away.
2) Wait a reasonable amount of time before re-gifting. It's like dating. Sure you can jump right back in, but things may turn out to be more disastrous than if you had waited. If you immediately re-gift something, well it's pretty much the same as throwing it away with the leftovers from your party. Wait a few months. Really make that commitment that you're going to give this present to someone else.
3) Re-wrap the gift in a different gift wrap or bag. If it came in a yellow bag covered with happy birthdays all over it, put it in a different bag. First off, it looks weird and used. Secondly, your goal is to make it look new.
4) If the gift is in its original packaging, DON'T open it. Leave it untouched. Going back to #3, it's got to look new. It's like one of those action figures that loses its value after you take it out of the box. Or, a package of Oreos that you've eaten a couple out of then given to someone. My aunt gave me a Christmas present last year that consisted of old crystal candy dishes that had obviously been used by her once and was taped shut with masking tape. The sentiment was there and I use them quite frequently, but it looked like it "fell off" the back of a truck.
5) When you re-gift, be sure to gift it to someone entirely set apart from whatever set of friends or people you got your gift from. I once got a lovely gift for someone only to see it opened a few months down the road at a mutual friends birthday party. I didn't put it against this other person for re-gifting but it did smart a little that they gifted it to someone that we both knew. If we were drunk, it could have gotten ugly.
Getting a gift...
If you have a spending problem, like me, that consists of purchasing bits here and there for other people when you see something cool they might like, then it'd be good to keep in mind what people do or do not like.
Ties... I've gotten into getting people ties. Mainly because they're beautiful and my dude friends all work in some suit wearing manner. And really, you can never really have too many nice ties. BUT, if you find yourself getting a tie in the same pattern as the last 3 times, maybe you should consider something else.
Winter wear... it's always something someone can use. Gloves wear out, scarves and hats get lost or dirtied. BUT, don't do it every year. You'll get pegged as "the one who always gets us hats" and probably start seeing your gifts re-gifted fairly quickly. It's cuter if you do it every other/few years.
Media... nowadays people have iPods and such so getting them a CD is a little strange. Apple/iTunes cards or what have you are always welcome. They're not bulky which is also great cause you can truss it up in a nice little box or whatever. Same goes with DVDs and movies. There are so many different media players now that you're bound to get something wrong. For my 15th birthday my father got me the Die Hard Trilogy on DVD. I was super pumped about it until I realized we didn't own a DVD player. I had to wait till my 16th birthday to get that.
Gift Cards... it may not seem intimate as a gift, but it's always nice to get a gift card. And the thought is still there because your friend realized that "hey, you deserve to get something that you really want. Here's a gift card to your favorite store." Or now, they even have those nifty "not really credit card" gift cards.
Clothes... they can be a great gift or a disaster depending on what you purchase and what not. Also, if you do choose to buy a gift, please for the love of god find out what size the recipient is before purchasing. Nothing's more embarrassing that when you get a beautiful skirt in the mail only to find it's 4x too big. Then you think maybe if I just gorge myself, I'll fit into this.
Books... I'd put these in the same category as media, a lot of people read on Kindles or nooks or whatever. I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to get beyond a good book. Also, nothing says snit like handing someone a book that you think they'll "LOOOOOOVE." Just because you loved "The Secret" does not mean I will.
Alcohol... Call me crazy, but I like giving people gifts of booze. If they drink that is. It's always fun to find a new drink that someone may end up liking or getting them a small bottle of their favorite wine, liqour, what have you. Make it into a little gift basket by adding a little box of hot chocolate to that bottle of peppermint schnapps. Or a pislner glass to go with that bottle of BBC. Many of my friends are adventurous drinkers, so getting them something that allows them to explore the depths of their lifestyle is always worth it. It also helps with the BYOB at holiday parties.
There are so many more kinds of gifts that people give out that I have skewed opinions on, like the ever present Poinsettia or other gift-y plants or food (baked, bought, in a can, or otherwise). But if I went into detail about those, I may end up writing a very snooty book about everything.
What was your favorite gift either given or received? Any re-gift horror stories?
By the by, have you ever noticed that a lot of the plants we put around our homes for the holidays are generally poisonous or just not good if you ingest them? Poinsettias, mistletoe, holly berries, that gourd that's been sitting on your coffee table in that strange arrangement since Halloween?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
My eBay-ing Past
Just recently I went on eBay when the Texas Rangers made it into the ALCS, and I searched for some tickets to bid on for when they came up to New York. I was slightly embarrassed to remember as I signed into my account my original reason for even joining eBay.
I was definitely in high school... definitely a psychotic fan of Russell Crowe right after L.A. Confidential came out (still a crazy fan)... then as he progressively got more and more famous, I had to know more about him. So I signed up on eBay, and bid and purchased many a silly number of magazines from Australia that featured Mr. Crowe. I think at one point I paid $50 for an old magazine that featured him on the cover with purple lipstick... I'm a dork I'll admit it. And in my untouched childhood bedroom there is a cardboard box filled to the brim with magazines I hoarded that had him on the cover... and Ewan McGregor, and Guy Pearce and any other assortment of hot celebrity at the time. Surprisingly I skipped the whole Leonardo DiCapri-dreamboat phase of my life... (oh also, this is also when I learned of paypal and essentially used what little scraps of money I had in my paltry bank account that my mom set up for me to pay for these periodicals)
But it's funny how you think about why you first signed up for certain things. I did it cause I had a hunger for the unkown, aka Russell Crowe. I mean now I use eBay on occasion to purchase practical things like commemorative 2008 Beijing Olympic dolls (definitely not practical), a pitcher for someone's birthday (practical), an official Buckaroo Bonzai samurai headband (clearly not practical, luckily someone outbid me) and various musical instruments like a trumpet (which i lost the mouthpiece to) and a french horn (which i still play so i guess pretty practical).
Amazon.com was another one of those strange sites that, when I think back, I had no reason at all to be purchasing stuff from there as a 15 year old teen. Seriously. What was I thinking?
Now I use these sites to buy obscure movies and tickets to events. I've definitely toned down the frequency of purchases but I'll still get the occasional silly item... hello kitty phone charms in 12 colors? Yes, please.
What are some of the sites that you frequent for purchases? Don't be shy! I've already aired some of my less than stellar buys... (mainly all of them)
I was definitely in high school... definitely a psychotic fan of Russell Crowe right after L.A. Confidential came out (still a crazy fan)... then as he progressively got more and more famous, I had to know more about him. So I signed up on eBay, and bid and purchased many a silly number of magazines from Australia that featured Mr. Crowe. I think at one point I paid $50 for an old magazine that featured him on the cover with purple lipstick... I'm a dork I'll admit it. And in my untouched childhood bedroom there is a cardboard box filled to the brim with magazines I hoarded that had him on the cover... and Ewan McGregor, and Guy Pearce and any other assortment of hot celebrity at the time. Surprisingly I skipped the whole Leonardo DiCapri-dreamboat phase of my life... (oh also, this is also when I learned of paypal and essentially used what little scraps of money I had in my paltry bank account that my mom set up for me to pay for these periodicals)
But it's funny how you think about why you first signed up for certain things. I did it cause I had a hunger for the unkown, aka Russell Crowe. I mean now I use eBay on occasion to purchase practical things like commemorative 2008 Beijing Olympic dolls (definitely not practical), a pitcher for someone's birthday (practical), an official Buckaroo Bonzai samurai headband (clearly not practical, luckily someone outbid me) and various musical instruments like a trumpet (which i lost the mouthpiece to) and a french horn (which i still play so i guess pretty practical).
Amazon.com was another one of those strange sites that, when I think back, I had no reason at all to be purchasing stuff from there as a 15 year old teen. Seriously. What was I thinking?
Now I use these sites to buy obscure movies and tickets to events. I've definitely toned down the frequency of purchases but I'll still get the occasional silly item... hello kitty phone charms in 12 colors? Yes, please.
What are some of the sites that you frequent for purchases? Don't be shy! I've already aired some of my less than stellar buys... (mainly all of them)
Monday, November 8, 2010
A Guy Walks Into A Bar
So a guy walks into a bar. There are girls there. The girls are having a generally good time. The guy and his guy friends come over and they strike up a lively group. The girls initially shy away and try to brush the men off, but eventually, after a few more drinks and random inquiries the general air around this high top is one of friendly banter and good vibrations.
Cut to the end of the night... it's closing time, the sun will literally start to lighten up the night in 3 hours. Numbers are exchanged, promises of seeing everyone again at the same bar in some future date. One girl turns to one guy and says "hey you said you work near where I live, if you're ever up for it and want to grab a drink let me know. I'm always looking for new friends to drink with."
Guy replies, "Cool, yeah I dunno, I'm kind of gunning for your friend over there, but if that doesn't work out, I'll definitely give you a call."
Music screeches to a halt, all conversation is suspended in the bar. Freeze frame in movie time.
WTF just happened?
If you haven't realized by now, these events did actually happen, and I was that girl who tried to make a new friend but somehow got shot down for something else. What the...
How come I can't just make a new guy friend? Did my air of utter contempt, aloofness and ability to drink whiskey like a sailor translate as "I'm desperate for a companion that I can become clingy and insanely overbearing to." Apparently it did.
Did the statement that I like drinking. AND I'm always looking for new friends to drink with translate to "I want you. In my bed." I guess it did.
That is just ludicrous.... and to top it off, if I was actually hitting on you, telling me that you're "gunning" for my friend and that I'm as good as sloppy seconds really does cause my "infatuation" for you to grow... well, I mean hey, you really know how to get a girl's hear racing.
That was a couple months ago so I'm not really still smarting from it (ok maybe when I actually think about the whole situation), but it sure was a funny event huh? I was reminded of that moment in ludicrous history as I watched one of those movies where the guy likes a girl, and another girl hits on the guy and the guy tells the other girl he likes her friend... You see that's how you're supposed to do it. IF the other girl apparently likes you. Which it seems is what this fool of a dude thought. I'm no Jessica Rabbit mind you, so I'm not offended in that way that would make me shallow (I am secretly shallow), but come on!
Word to the wise, i.e. drunk guy hitting on a girl within a group of other girls. Don't be a d-bag to one of her friends. Don't turn down friendship, well you could, but is that getting any closer to your goal of hooking up with my friend? I know it may be odd for you to find yourself in a situation where a girl wants a platonic relationship and not go immediately home with you. If you're unsure as to whether this other girl is "hitting on you," just ask.
It may go something like this:
"Are you hitting on me?"
"No. I thought you were hitting on my friend?"
"Yes, I am."
"Cool, to clarify, I am asking you to have a drink with me as a possible future friend that I can call up to grab a drink with because you work a few blocks away from my abode. Not someone I can make babies with cause that's gross and our DNA is clearly not compatible. "
"Oh ok. Sure. Will you tell your hot lady friend that I am merely being nice to you as a friend?"
"Yes, I will. I will also let her know that you were so nice to me, the plain jane, that you deserve a chance."
Ta-Da! Friendship and a chance at that girl you were trying to get at all night!
Trust me drunk monsieur, it may or may not work. I thought I read too deeply into things but sir you take the cake. And that is the end of that sad, sad rant... don't get me started on how asian guys try to impress you...
What's your best/worst encounter whilst being inebriated at a bar and striking up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex?
What do you wish you could say to someone after the fact?
Cut to the end of the night... it's closing time, the sun will literally start to lighten up the night in 3 hours. Numbers are exchanged, promises of seeing everyone again at the same bar in some future date. One girl turns to one guy and says "hey you said you work near where I live, if you're ever up for it and want to grab a drink let me know. I'm always looking for new friends to drink with."
Guy replies, "Cool, yeah I dunno, I'm kind of gunning for your friend over there, but if that doesn't work out, I'll definitely give you a call."
Music screeches to a halt, all conversation is suspended in the bar. Freeze frame in movie time.
WTF just happened?
If you haven't realized by now, these events did actually happen, and I was that girl who tried to make a new friend but somehow got shot down for something else. What the...
How come I can't just make a new guy friend? Did my air of utter contempt, aloofness and ability to drink whiskey like a sailor translate as "I'm desperate for a companion that I can become clingy and insanely overbearing to." Apparently it did.
Did the statement that I like drinking. AND I'm always looking for new friends to drink with translate to "I want you. In my bed." I guess it did.
That is just ludicrous.... and to top it off, if I was actually hitting on you, telling me that you're "gunning" for my friend and that I'm as good as sloppy seconds really does cause my "infatuation" for you to grow... well, I mean hey, you really know how to get a girl's hear racing.
That was a couple months ago so I'm not really still smarting from it (ok maybe when I actually think about the whole situation), but it sure was a funny event huh? I was reminded of that moment in ludicrous history as I watched one of those movies where the guy likes a girl, and another girl hits on the guy and the guy tells the other girl he likes her friend... You see that's how you're supposed to do it. IF the other girl apparently likes you. Which it seems is what this fool of a dude thought. I'm no Jessica Rabbit mind you, so I'm not offended in that way that would make me shallow (I am secretly shallow), but come on!
Word to the wise, i.e. drunk guy hitting on a girl within a group of other girls. Don't be a d-bag to one of her friends. Don't turn down friendship, well you could, but is that getting any closer to your goal of hooking up with my friend? I know it may be odd for you to find yourself in a situation where a girl wants a platonic relationship and not go immediately home with you. If you're unsure as to whether this other girl is "hitting on you," just ask.
It may go something like this:
"Are you hitting on me?"
"No. I thought you were hitting on my friend?"
"Yes, I am."
"Cool, to clarify, I am asking you to have a drink with me as a possible future friend that I can call up to grab a drink with because you work a few blocks away from my abode. Not someone I can make babies with cause that's gross and our DNA is clearly not compatible. "
"Oh ok. Sure. Will you tell your hot lady friend that I am merely being nice to you as a friend?"
"Yes, I will. I will also let her know that you were so nice to me, the plain jane, that you deserve a chance."
Ta-Da! Friendship and a chance at that girl you were trying to get at all night!
Trust me drunk monsieur, it may or may not work. I thought I read too deeply into things but sir you take the cake. And that is the end of that sad, sad rant... don't get me started on how asian guys try to impress you...
What's your best/worst encounter whilst being inebriated at a bar and striking up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex?
What do you wish you could say to someone after the fact?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Those were the days my friend...
Just recently, like today, a friend told me to watch a video (here) that Martin High School shot and posted on their newsletter site. Although the "singers" weren't as together as an "anal-OCD-let me toot my own horn cause I was a film major who excelled at editing" like me would have liked to see, the concept to have an entire school of 3,800 bodies, including faculty and staff, come together in one continuous take was breathtaking to say the least. Each group, organization, click, niche, what have you, coalesced into a single organism called community. As I watched this video, I was reminded of my time in high school and how it was similar and yet very different from what it is now.
Many people, once they're done with school and higher education, tend to leave the past behind them. When I venture home for holidays or vacations, the general consensus for some of my friends is that high school WAS high school and no amount of cajoling can get them to go back into that building. I mean high school meant something right? We are all still friends. The best of friends to withstand the distances of college and post college life. Reminiscing of when "so and so" went out with "that person?" and then got all huffy when "blah" had a crush on "him/her." We post pictures that we dig up from the bottoms of our collective shoeboxes on Facebook or whatever friend community share site we have. High school was magical, many people married their sweethearts and are living their dream. So what's the aversion to walking around in the physical school?
I understand the most common complaint is that we are old. Not going on retirement-AARP old, but old enough that it would seem strange (and possibly sex offender type) to be prowling the hallways during Spirit Week. But who cares? Do it at least once. Look up the few teachers (if they're still there) who left a Sidney Poitier/"Welcome Back, Kotter" mark on your life, hopefully for the better. Get in touch with them. Then go to school and visit them. See what students they have now. Remember that you were once that small and wimpish. Even if you were an athlete, cause let's face it. You were in high school. You just went through puberty. This ain't no Dawson's Creek/high school movie of your choosing deal where you were always this hot and put together... if you were then I salute you, and I bid you safe journey in your bid for world domination. Your teachers, mentors, whoever would undoubtedly love to hear what you have been doing. I mean hey, you graduated from high school. You passed that hurdle of life. Give back, to say the least, to some of the people who built you into who are now.
Last year, during Thanksgiving, I went home. My mother, who has been a substitute teacher in our high school for as long as I can remember, took me to school with her. It was fun. Initially the most awkward thing ever, and I had thoughts of speeding away in my mother's minivan as we walked up to those security guarded doors. I don't know if your school had this, but if you are not a student you sign in, and then wear a tag the whole day to let people know that so you don't get carted off campus by rent-a-cops. Very detention center-ish but safe in its intent.
Anyways, my mother signed me in and then proceeded to show me off to everyone on staff. It's a point of pride for her that her daughters live in the northeast and lead successful lives. (Now that I've moved to NYC and am unemployed, I'm sure she's just talking about my sister to people.) I was traipsed around the building and then sat down in her class, where I proceeded to make myself as small as possible. The kids who entered stared at me like some freak. Their glances and questions to me screamed of "this is an adult?"
After that horror event, I was free to roam on my own. My mother gave me a list of teachers and their classrooms, and I proceeded to find as many of them as I could. Mrs. Warner, Mr. Atman, Mrs. Flynt, Ms. Dowdy, Mr. Hart, Mr. Cure. I still and will always probably until I am old and decrepit call these people by their last names. No way around that one. Some people didn't recognize me on first glance, but O-M-G, it was amazing! Chatting about their lives, about my life, about random things that happened or just general chatter. They introduced me to their promising students and embarrassed me by relating stories of my antics in school and my life now. I was crestfallen when I realized there would never be enough time to fully speak with all these people as they had to do a little something called "teach." But, when I left school at the end of the day, I was happy to have had the opportunity to actually get to know the people who taught me a thing or two about everything. I made a promise to myself that day that I would keep in touch with them as a friend should. Needless to say, I haven't really done well on my promise...
I love my high school. I say it with a possessive tone because it was mine, and everyone else's. We lived and breathed that school. Pouring as much or as little of ourselves into our classes and social interactions. We have forged friendships that have lasted a decade or more and will probably last forever. There are moments when I look at a photo on my wall and remember when it was taken, who else was there, and I wish that I could be home again. Living at home, being near these people. I wish that I could be close enough to go see a high school football game because, let's face it, it's Texas and high school sports are a major organ in the body of the state. I wish I could sit on that little hill off the school parking lot and watch the marching band go through its paces. I wish I could see the spring musical and reminisce about when a backdrop fell on me or when I attempted to inflate over 200 balloons by myself for Footloose. (As you can see, I've become quite sentimental about the whole thing. Damn you video.) Don't even get me started on the after-school hang outs... Braum's, Jack in the Box, CiCi's Pizza.
It was easy when we were in high school. As much as we wanted to be independent, we had it made. Room and board, free health care, etc... all taken care of. Even though I had a curfew, I could still be with my friends. Throwing stupid parties, giggling over crushes, making garters and mums for Homecoming, movie nights and sleepovers.
If you have fond memories of what used to be, or just curious about what's happening/happened, go visit your high school. Visit your teachers. Even if you feel you haven't achieved much in the way you thought you would, they'll welcome you with open arms. Glad to know that you've made it this far in life with only a handful of bumps and bruises showing. You're not too old or grown up to go back. Just look at Kotter.
What was your favorite high school memory, prank, whatever? (And I swear if you reference High School Musical or Varsity Blues I will find you and wag my finger at you)
Many people, once they're done with school and higher education, tend to leave the past behind them. When I venture home for holidays or vacations, the general consensus for some of my friends is that high school WAS high school and no amount of cajoling can get them to go back into that building. I mean high school meant something right? We are all still friends. The best of friends to withstand the distances of college and post college life. Reminiscing of when "so and so" went out with "that person?" and then got all huffy when "blah" had a crush on "him/her." We post pictures that we dig up from the bottoms of our collective shoeboxes on Facebook or whatever friend community share site we have. High school was magical, many people married their sweethearts and are living their dream. So what's the aversion to walking around in the physical school?
I understand the most common complaint is that we are old. Not going on retirement-AARP old, but old enough that it would seem strange (and possibly sex offender type) to be prowling the hallways during Spirit Week. But who cares? Do it at least once. Look up the few teachers (if they're still there) who left a Sidney Poitier/"Welcome Back, Kotter" mark on your life, hopefully for the better. Get in touch with them. Then go to school and visit them. See what students they have now. Remember that you were once that small and wimpish. Even if you were an athlete, cause let's face it. You were in high school. You just went through puberty. This ain't no Dawson's Creek/high school movie of your choosing deal where you were always this hot and put together... if you were then I salute you, and I bid you safe journey in your bid for world domination. Your teachers, mentors, whoever would undoubtedly love to hear what you have been doing. I mean hey, you graduated from high school. You passed that hurdle of life. Give back, to say the least, to some of the people who built you into who are now.
Last year, during Thanksgiving, I went home. My mother, who has been a substitute teacher in our high school for as long as I can remember, took me to school with her. It was fun. Initially the most awkward thing ever, and I had thoughts of speeding away in my mother's minivan as we walked up to those security guarded doors. I don't know if your school had this, but if you are not a student you sign in, and then wear a tag the whole day to let people know that so you don't get carted off campus by rent-a-cops. Very detention center-ish but safe in its intent.
Anyways, my mother signed me in and then proceeded to show me off to everyone on staff. It's a point of pride for her that her daughters live in the northeast and lead successful lives. (Now that I've moved to NYC and am unemployed, I'm sure she's just talking about my sister to people.) I was traipsed around the building and then sat down in her class, where I proceeded to make myself as small as possible. The kids who entered stared at me like some freak. Their glances and questions to me screamed of "this is an adult?"
After that horror event, I was free to roam on my own. My mother gave me a list of teachers and their classrooms, and I proceeded to find as many of them as I could. Mrs. Warner, Mr. Atman, Mrs. Flynt, Ms. Dowdy, Mr. Hart, Mr. Cure. I still and will always probably until I am old and decrepit call these people by their last names. No way around that one. Some people didn't recognize me on first glance, but O-M-G, it was amazing! Chatting about their lives, about my life, about random things that happened or just general chatter. They introduced me to their promising students and embarrassed me by relating stories of my antics in school and my life now. I was crestfallen when I realized there would never be enough time to fully speak with all these people as they had to do a little something called "teach." But, when I left school at the end of the day, I was happy to have had the opportunity to actually get to know the people who taught me a thing or two about everything. I made a promise to myself that day that I would keep in touch with them as a friend should. Needless to say, I haven't really done well on my promise...
I love my high school. I say it with a possessive tone because it was mine, and everyone else's. We lived and breathed that school. Pouring as much or as little of ourselves into our classes and social interactions. We have forged friendships that have lasted a decade or more and will probably last forever. There are moments when I look at a photo on my wall and remember when it was taken, who else was there, and I wish that I could be home again. Living at home, being near these people. I wish that I could be close enough to go see a high school football game because, let's face it, it's Texas and high school sports are a major organ in the body of the state. I wish I could sit on that little hill off the school parking lot and watch the marching band go through its paces. I wish I could see the spring musical and reminisce about when a backdrop fell on me or when I attempted to inflate over 200 balloons by myself for Footloose. (As you can see, I've become quite sentimental about the whole thing. Damn you video.) Don't even get me started on the after-school hang outs... Braum's, Jack in the Box, CiCi's Pizza.
It was easy when we were in high school. As much as we wanted to be independent, we had it made. Room and board, free health care, etc... all taken care of. Even though I had a curfew, I could still be with my friends. Throwing stupid parties, giggling over crushes, making garters and mums for Homecoming, movie nights and sleepovers.
If you have fond memories of what used to be, or just curious about what's happening/happened, go visit your high school. Visit your teachers. Even if you feel you haven't achieved much in the way you thought you would, they'll welcome you with open arms. Glad to know that you've made it this far in life with only a handful of bumps and bruises showing. You're not too old or grown up to go back. Just look at Kotter.
What was your favorite high school memory, prank, whatever? (And I swear if you reference High School Musical or Varsity Blues I will find you and wag my finger at you)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Best Worst Movies Ever
In college, I once forced some friends of mine to watch Barbarella with me. I made them because they had a poster of the film in their common room though neither had actually watched the film. They both agreed it was absolutely horrible. Really guys? Jane Fonda rolling around a spaceship that's completely covered in shag carpeting?
My roommate Jackie and I used to watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Pure schlock but oh so good in it's campy extreme low budget-ness. I mean who can say no to alien klowns (yes spelled with a "K") that come down to Earth on a circus spaceship and capture humans in cotton candy cocoons! Actually I'm pretty sure everyone can say no to this film. But it was just so bad it became good.
I don't know what the fascination is with these "I thought they were a good idea" films. I'm sure some directors and writers vehemently refuse to believe that they ever had a hand in making them. But, like a horrific accident on the highway, you can't not look.
Take for example The Apple. A number of people know that this is one of my favorite films. I think I stated this fact when I was majoring in film in college. The incredulous look on my TA's face, and the sad shake of the head from my professor, was all I needed to realize that this movie clearly did not qualify in their "greatest movies ever made" category. Luckily I never mentioned my love for other films of the same ilk.
If you've never seen The Apple, you should watch it, just to uncomfortably sit through the sexual innuendo laden songs. Oh, yes, forgot to mention it's a musical. It came out in 1980 and was one of the many films to try to capitalize on the movie musical revival that films like Grease had started when it came out in 1978 (note that The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Who's Tommy both came out in 1975, but the public draw wasn't as great as Grease). Needless to say The Apple and many other films such as The Phantom of the Paradise and Shock Treatment (the sequel to Rocky Horror), and Grease 2 really bit the big one due to misshapen plots that attempted to link possible "hit" songs together. But I digress... I was talking about my love of really bad movies.
Pretty much all of the above mentioned films are owned by me and are watched on a pretty regular basis. But back to The Apple. The gist of the film is that it's set in the "future" (aka 1994) where Mr. Boogalow essentially runs the world via his music empire. He signs 2 Canadian folk singers by the name of Alphie and Bibi, and for the rest of the film it's the Book of Genesis (that's essentially where the apple in the title of the film comes from... and yes there's a very snazzy music/dance number in hell with a giant disco apple). Boogalow is the devil, and he uses his Cabbage Patch perm son and Predator hair daughter to seduce the 2 singers into his seedy music conglomerate. Lots of potential, very Dreamgirls meets... oh what the hell, it's absolutely horrible and they ended the film with the 2 singers becoming hippies and being led away to heaven by God (who they find out was the leader of the hippies the entire time, and was played poorly by Joss Ackland who you might know better as Hans from The Mighty Ducks).
I mean it's no Commando or Kindergarten Cop (don't know why I just referenced Schwarzenegger films) where it's lame but fun. Sometimes the worst movies ever made are the best. You just have to watch them like 2 or 3 times and be just a little over tipsy. And remember that when these films were being made, they always thought their special effects were the bomb. (I mean clearly better than Clash of the Titans or Jason and Argonauts, for sure.)
People probably won't get my obsession with these less than stellar films but hey, I don't judge when I notice you still have The Backstreet Boys and O-Town playing on your iPod. I mean, hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Or, in the case of a movie, by the fact that you've never heard of it and the title really sucks.
What's one of your guiltiest pleasure of a movie?
If you say The Notebook or A Walk to Remember, I won't be surprised, maybe a little disappointed but to each his own.
I leave you with some of my top "Meh" Movies That I Love Ever (had to whittle it down to 10):
1) The Apple - get into the apple dance
2) Shock Treatment - it's the acceptable face of the human race
3) Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension - A surgeon/scientist/rockstar played by Peter Weller (pre Robocop) c'mon!
4) Blow Dry - Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman as competitive hair stylists... original Hair Battle Spectacular anyone?
5) Barbarella - A death machine that's an organ/piano that orgasms you to death
6) Out Cold - like Caddyshack but at a ski resort and with Zach Galifanakis
7) Deep Rising - Treat Williams vs. a kraken beast and an explosion sequence that really doesn't make sense
8) Virtuosity - Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe... star power was not enough to get this film going
9) Hudson Hawk - the original Da Vinci Code with Bruce Willis... Yippee Kai Yay Mona Lisa
10) The Fast and the Furious - hotty mchot hot aka Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, oh and cars...
My roommate Jackie and I used to watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Pure schlock but oh so good in it's campy extreme low budget-ness. I mean who can say no to alien klowns (yes spelled with a "K") that come down to Earth on a circus spaceship and capture humans in cotton candy cocoons! Actually I'm pretty sure everyone can say no to this film. But it was just so bad it became good.
I don't know what the fascination is with these "I thought they were a good idea" films. I'm sure some directors and writers vehemently refuse to believe that they ever had a hand in making them. But, like a horrific accident on the highway, you can't not look.
Take for example The Apple. A number of people know that this is one of my favorite films. I think I stated this fact when I was majoring in film in college. The incredulous look on my TA's face, and the sad shake of the head from my professor, was all I needed to realize that this movie clearly did not qualify in their "greatest movies ever made" category. Luckily I never mentioned my love for other films of the same ilk.
If you've never seen The Apple, you should watch it, just to uncomfortably sit through the sexual innuendo laden songs. Oh, yes, forgot to mention it's a musical. It came out in 1980 and was one of the many films to try to capitalize on the movie musical revival that films like Grease had started when it came out in 1978 (note that The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Who's Tommy both came out in 1975, but the public draw wasn't as great as Grease). Needless to say The Apple and many other films such as The Phantom of the Paradise and Shock Treatment (the sequel to Rocky Horror), and Grease 2 really bit the big one due to misshapen plots that attempted to link possible "hit" songs together. But I digress... I was talking about my love of really bad movies.
Pretty much all of the above mentioned films are owned by me and are watched on a pretty regular basis. But back to The Apple. The gist of the film is that it's set in the "future" (aka 1994) where Mr. Boogalow essentially runs the world via his music empire. He signs 2 Canadian folk singers by the name of Alphie and Bibi, and for the rest of the film it's the Book of Genesis (that's essentially where the apple in the title of the film comes from... and yes there's a very snazzy music/dance number in hell with a giant disco apple). Boogalow is the devil, and he uses his Cabbage Patch perm son and Predator hair daughter to seduce the 2 singers into his seedy music conglomerate. Lots of potential, very Dreamgirls meets... oh what the hell, it's absolutely horrible and they ended the film with the 2 singers becoming hippies and being led away to heaven by God (who they find out was the leader of the hippies the entire time, and was played poorly by Joss Ackland who you might know better as Hans from The Mighty Ducks).
I mean it's no Commando or Kindergarten Cop (don't know why I just referenced Schwarzenegger films) where it's lame but fun. Sometimes the worst movies ever made are the best. You just have to watch them like 2 or 3 times and be just a little over tipsy. And remember that when these films were being made, they always thought their special effects were the bomb. (I mean clearly better than Clash of the Titans or Jason and Argonauts, for sure.)
People probably won't get my obsession with these less than stellar films but hey, I don't judge when I notice you still have The Backstreet Boys and O-Town playing on your iPod. I mean, hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Or, in the case of a movie, by the fact that you've never heard of it and the title really sucks.
What's one of your guiltiest pleasure of a movie?
If you say The Notebook or A Walk to Remember, I won't be surprised, maybe a little disappointed but to each his own.
I leave you with some of my top "Meh" Movies That I Love Ever (had to whittle it down to 10):
1) The Apple - get into the apple dance
2) Shock Treatment - it's the acceptable face of the human race
3) Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension - A surgeon/scientist/rockstar played by Peter Weller (pre Robocop) c'mon!
4) Blow Dry - Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman as competitive hair stylists... original Hair Battle Spectacular anyone?
5) Barbarella - A death machine that's an organ/piano that orgasms you to death
6) Out Cold - like Caddyshack but at a ski resort and with Zach Galifanakis
7) Deep Rising - Treat Williams vs. a kraken beast and an explosion sequence that really doesn't make sense
8) Virtuosity - Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe... star power was not enough to get this film going
9) Hudson Hawk - the original Da Vinci Code with Bruce Willis... Yippee Kai Yay Mona Lisa
10) The Fast and the Furious - hotty mchot hot aka Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, oh and cars...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A nom n a nosh
Guacamole.
It is by far the most delicious dish/dip/side item that anyone has conjured up... I'm sure I will completely undermine that statement later down the road.
But for now, I can only say that I love guacamole. It involves the simplest of ingredients, all raw, and everyone can enjoy it. Carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, maybe a small baby (but I'm not sure about that last one).
I grew up in Texas so I've had my fair share of the dish in a variety of ways. With black beans and corn, with a number of different kinds of chiles added, with olives, etc. But, the most basic version of guacamole is still, hands down, the best.
Guacamole is generally comprised of these main ingredients: avocado, lime, cilantro, garlic, onion, tomato, salt and pepper. Deviations can obviously be made but I believe these basic items are the "building block" to some darn good guac.
The most important ingredient is the avocado, without this you essentially have a simple salsa. Many people complain that the avocados that they purchase are too hard and tasteless. It's definitely a spur of the moment decision to make guacamole but if you know ahead of time, buy some unripe avocados at least 2 days in advance. Unripe avocados usually look very green and shiny but are hard as rocks and extremely bland and no amount of salt or flavoring can change that. They're pretty much useless until they've ripened. To speed up the process, put the unripe avocados in a brown paper bag for a couple days. (I have been scoffed at a few times at this method but it definitely works, and it works with other fruit as well.) When avocados are ripe, they will feel a little squishy, yielding easily to any pressure you put on them, and most of the time the skin will darken to an almost greenish-black color. Don't let them get too ripe though because then they tend to develop black spots in the fleshy inside which make for a kinda gross situation. Prices obviously vary, but you can generally find avocados year round at the store. In the summertime, they are prone to being already ripe or at least ripe enough to mash. In the fall and winter time, they're generally unripe and need to be bought a few days in advance of whatever you're going to use them for.
Cilantro... you either hate it or you love it. When it comes to making guacamole, I am a firm believer in it. From me to you, reader, DO NOT substitute or omit the cilantro. I have a friend who absolutely abhors the stuff. Even the smell of it annoys her. But, she loves guac. She knows the cilantro is in there but the power of the dish just overtakes her unbearable hatred for cilantro. It's amazing what even a small amount of cilantro can do to your guacamole. It adds a texture to it that makes it 10x better than just mashed avocados alone. When you're at the store, you can usually find cilantro next to the parsley and other herbs. It looks just like parsley, so make sure you have the correct herb. If you've used it before, you'll know the distinct smell that cilantro has, a slightly sharp tang (that's as lame as I can describe it). Try to find the smallest, greenest bunch. I generally use cilantro only for Tex-Mex so I never really use a lot, and then it goes bad and I've wasted some good herbs. Remember to wash your cilantro when you get home. There's usually grit and bits of soil still on the plant. I like to mince it very fine and use a lot of it.
Lime juice and salt are another piece of the guacamole dish that should not be taken lightly. They essentially keep the avocado from turning brown once it's exposed to the air. Once it turns brown, you can still eat it but not for long, and the dish loses it visual appeal very quickly. 1/2 a lime to 2 avocados usually does the trick. I've tried using a lemon when I didn't have a lime on hand, and I'm not going to lie, the taste was way off. The taste of the lime really adds to the depth of the guac. I mean you wouldn't use a lemon to make a mojito so why in guac? When adding salt to the guacamole, be very careful. I add a dash at a time and mix everything thoroughly before adding more. It's very easy to over-salt the dish. And when you use tortilla chips (which are already covered in salt), you end up with a lip curling experience.
Garlic, onions and tomatoes are pretty self-explanatory. If you need help figuring that out, I'm sorry.
Below is a simple guacamole recipe. (Go ahead and use that molcajete you have just lying around. If you don't have one, a mixing bowl works fine) You can obviously put a lot or a little of each ingredient, but don't skip the cilantro! You can also add whatever extras you like (black beans, chipotle, olives, corn, jalapenos), but remember, always in moderation because you want all the flavors to blend well together.
Serves about 2-4 people (with tortilla chips):
2 avocados - ripened
3-5 cloves of garlic (minced)
1/4 cup of onions - whatever kind you like best (minced)
3-4 Tablespoons of cilantro (minced)
1 medium tomato (minced)
Juice from 1/2 or 1 whole lime
Salt and pepper to taste
In a mixing bowl, combine all the minced vegetables and mix thoroughly.
Cut each avocado in half. Using a knife, pierce the pit of the avocado and gently wiggle it back and forth until it comes loose from the middle of the avocado. Discard the pit (or do one of those growing things that we used to do as kids with water and toothpicks). With a spoon, scoop out all of the avocado meat, making sure to cut out any black spots that you find in the meat. Discard the avocado skins. Using the knife and spoon, mix/slice up the avocado and vegetables (you can also use a potato masher). Depending on how soft the avocado is, you may end up with some nice chunky dip. Add the lime juice and mix again. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Guacamole keeps for a couple days if stored in an airtight container. The top layer may turn brown overnight but that's ok. Add a little more lime juice to it to perk it up.
I hope you enjoy your guacamole! I like mine just with the basic ingredients but what do you like to put in yours?
It is by far the most delicious dish/dip/side item that anyone has conjured up... I'm sure I will completely undermine that statement later down the road.
But for now, I can only say that I love guacamole. It involves the simplest of ingredients, all raw, and everyone can enjoy it. Carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, maybe a small baby (but I'm not sure about that last one).
I grew up in Texas so I've had my fair share of the dish in a variety of ways. With black beans and corn, with a number of different kinds of chiles added, with olives, etc. But, the most basic version of guacamole is still, hands down, the best.
Guacamole is generally comprised of these main ingredients: avocado, lime, cilantro, garlic, onion, tomato, salt and pepper. Deviations can obviously be made but I believe these basic items are the "building block" to some darn good guac.
The most important ingredient is the avocado, without this you essentially have a simple salsa. Many people complain that the avocados that they purchase are too hard and tasteless. It's definitely a spur of the moment decision to make guacamole but if you know ahead of time, buy some unripe avocados at least 2 days in advance. Unripe avocados usually look very green and shiny but are hard as rocks and extremely bland and no amount of salt or flavoring can change that. They're pretty much useless until they've ripened. To speed up the process, put the unripe avocados in a brown paper bag for a couple days. (I have been scoffed at a few times at this method but it definitely works, and it works with other fruit as well.) When avocados are ripe, they will feel a little squishy, yielding easily to any pressure you put on them, and most of the time the skin will darken to an almost greenish-black color. Don't let them get too ripe though because then they tend to develop black spots in the fleshy inside which make for a kinda gross situation. Prices obviously vary, but you can generally find avocados year round at the store. In the summertime, they are prone to being already ripe or at least ripe enough to mash. In the fall and winter time, they're generally unripe and need to be bought a few days in advance of whatever you're going to use them for.
Cilantro... you either hate it or you love it. When it comes to making guacamole, I am a firm believer in it. From me to you, reader, DO NOT substitute or omit the cilantro. I have a friend who absolutely abhors the stuff. Even the smell of it annoys her. But, she loves guac. She knows the cilantro is in there but the power of the dish just overtakes her unbearable hatred for cilantro. It's amazing what even a small amount of cilantro can do to your guacamole. It adds a texture to it that makes it 10x better than just mashed avocados alone. When you're at the store, you can usually find cilantro next to the parsley and other herbs. It looks just like parsley, so make sure you have the correct herb. If you've used it before, you'll know the distinct smell that cilantro has, a slightly sharp tang (that's as lame as I can describe it). Try to find the smallest, greenest bunch. I generally use cilantro only for Tex-Mex so I never really use a lot, and then it goes bad and I've wasted some good herbs. Remember to wash your cilantro when you get home. There's usually grit and bits of soil still on the plant. I like to mince it very fine and use a lot of it.
Lime juice and salt are another piece of the guacamole dish that should not be taken lightly. They essentially keep the avocado from turning brown once it's exposed to the air. Once it turns brown, you can still eat it but not for long, and the dish loses it visual appeal very quickly. 1/2 a lime to 2 avocados usually does the trick. I've tried using a lemon when I didn't have a lime on hand, and I'm not going to lie, the taste was way off. The taste of the lime really adds to the depth of the guac. I mean you wouldn't use a lemon to make a mojito so why in guac? When adding salt to the guacamole, be very careful. I add a dash at a time and mix everything thoroughly before adding more. It's very easy to over-salt the dish. And when you use tortilla chips (which are already covered in salt), you end up with a lip curling experience.
Garlic, onions and tomatoes are pretty self-explanatory. If you need help figuring that out, I'm sorry.
Below is a simple guacamole recipe. (Go ahead and use that molcajete you have just lying around. If you don't have one, a mixing bowl works fine) You can obviously put a lot or a little of each ingredient, but don't skip the cilantro! You can also add whatever extras you like (black beans, chipotle, olives, corn, jalapenos), but remember, always in moderation because you want all the flavors to blend well together.
Serves about 2-4 people (with tortilla chips):
2 avocados - ripened
3-5 cloves of garlic (minced)
1/4 cup of onions - whatever kind you like best (minced)
3-4 Tablespoons of cilantro (minced)
1 medium tomato (minced)
Juice from 1/2 or 1 whole lime
Salt and pepper to taste
In a mixing bowl, combine all the minced vegetables and mix thoroughly.
Cut each avocado in half. Using a knife, pierce the pit of the avocado and gently wiggle it back and forth until it comes loose from the middle of the avocado. Discard the pit (or do one of those growing things that we used to do as kids with water and toothpicks). With a spoon, scoop out all of the avocado meat, making sure to cut out any black spots that you find in the meat. Discard the avocado skins. Using the knife and spoon, mix/slice up the avocado and vegetables (you can also use a potato masher). Depending on how soft the avocado is, you may end up with some nice chunky dip. Add the lime juice and mix again. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Guacamole keeps for a couple days if stored in an airtight container. The top layer may turn brown overnight but that's ok. Add a little more lime juice to it to perk it up.
I hope you enjoy your guacamole! I like mine just with the basic ingredients but what do you like to put in yours?
A New Leaf
It appears that I'm jumping on the blogger bandwagon. I generally enjoy reading other people's observations and lives through their postings, but I guess with a multitude of time on my hands I've decided to give a crack at ye old blog/post thingy..
Being a completely random type of person, I hope to translate that into this blog. Scattered tidbits and life observations, new and old recipes that I love or have failed on, little inane stories that I've been meaning to write out, movies or music or styles that I've just fallen in love/like with (many of which were soooo last year apparently).
I'm hoping that you, dear reader who happened to stumble upon this sad sad excuse for a blog, will find some usefulness out of this whole experiment or at least a momentary bit of diversion from whatever you were doing before you saw this post.
And now onto the first (technically second) post...
Being a completely random type of person, I hope to translate that into this blog. Scattered tidbits and life observations, new and old recipes that I love or have failed on, little inane stories that I've been meaning to write out, movies or music or styles that I've just fallen in love/like with (many of which were soooo last year apparently).
I'm hoping that you, dear reader who happened to stumble upon this sad sad excuse for a blog, will find some usefulness out of this whole experiment or at least a momentary bit of diversion from whatever you were doing before you saw this post.
And now onto the first (technically second) post...
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