The Presence of Presents

What is the deal with gifts?
We agonize over what someone would really enjoy or like, or at least I do. It takes hours just to figure out if it's a) a good enough gift b) it won't bite me in the ass financially.

I know I should be saving this post for the Christmas time, but a lot of my dear friends have birthdays this month so I've been running rampant through the city trying to find perfect gifts that won't out do the holiday gifts I'll be getting for people. That's right I'm a jerk to myself. It's like the I'm trying to be an overachiever to myself, sticking it to me, which is kind of lame. But, knowing that I'll be financially strapped this time around, I'm getting pretty good at the frugal purchases that are still meaningful.

Let discuss the notion of gifting. It's very important to get a gift that someone will enjoy (or at least you think they'll enjoy it), but also be aware that if you're unsure that that person may inevitably not like, it may end up being re-gifted. Let's start there...

It's not really rude to re-gift. As the way things go, it's like a donation. You're not going to use it so you might as well give it to someone who will. BUT a few words to the wise:
1) Don't show your disappointment at a gift given. Fawn over it, love it, write a thank you note. Then surreptitiously put it away.
2) Wait a reasonable amount of time before re-gifting. It's like dating. Sure you can jump right back in, but things may turn out to be more disastrous than if you had waited. If you immediately re-gift something, well it's pretty much the same as throwing it away with the leftovers from your party. Wait a few months. Really make that commitment that you're going to give this present to someone else.
3) Re-wrap the gift in a different gift wrap or bag. If it came in a yellow bag covered with happy birthdays all over it, put it in a different bag. First off, it looks weird and used. Secondly, your goal is to make it look new.
4) If the gift is in its original packaging, DON'T open it. Leave it untouched. Going back to #3, it's got to look new. It's like one of those action figures that loses its value after you take it out of the box. Or, a package of Oreos that you've eaten a couple out of then given to someone. My aunt gave me a Christmas present last year that consisted of old crystal candy dishes that had obviously been used by her once and was taped shut with masking tape. The sentiment was there and I use them quite frequently, but it looked like it "fell off" the back of a truck.
5) When you re-gift, be sure to gift it to someone entirely set apart from whatever set of friends or people you got your gift from. I once got a lovely gift for someone only to see it opened a few months down the road at a mutual friends birthday party. I didn't put it against this other person for re-gifting but it did smart a little that they gifted it to someone that we both knew. If we were drunk, it could have gotten ugly.

Getting a gift...
If you have a spending problem, like me, that consists of purchasing bits here and there for other people when you see something cool they might like, then it'd be good to keep in mind what people do or do not like.
Ties... I've gotten into getting people ties. Mainly because they're beautiful and my dude friends all work in some suit wearing manner. And really, you can never really have too many nice ties. BUT, if you find yourself getting a tie in the same pattern as the last 3 times, maybe you should consider something else.
Winter wear... it's always something someone can use. Gloves wear out, scarves and hats get lost or dirtied. BUT, don't do it every year. You'll get pegged as "the one who always gets us hats" and probably start seeing your gifts re-gifted fairly quickly. It's cuter if you do it every other/few years.
Media... nowadays people have iPods and such so getting them a CD is a little strange. Apple/iTunes cards or what have you are always welcome. They're not bulky which is also great cause you can truss it up in a nice little box or whatever. Same goes with DVDs and movies. There are so many different media players now that you're bound to get something wrong. For my 15th birthday my father got me the Die Hard Trilogy on DVD. I was super pumped about it until I realized we didn't own a DVD player. I had to wait till my 16th birthday to get that.
Gift Cards... it may not seem intimate as a gift, but it's always nice to get a gift card. And the thought is still there because your friend realized that "hey, you deserve to get something that you really want. Here's a gift card to your favorite store." Or now, they even have those nifty "not really credit card" gift cards.
Clothes... they can be a great gift or a disaster depending on what you purchase and what not. Also, if you do choose to buy a gift, please for the love of god find out what size the recipient is before purchasing. Nothing's more embarrassing that when you get a beautiful skirt in the mail only to find it's 4x too big. Then you think maybe if I just gorge myself, I'll fit into this.
Books... I'd put these in the same category as media, a lot of people read on Kindles or nooks or whatever. I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to get beyond a good book. Also, nothing says snit like handing someone a book that you think they'll "LOOOOOOVE." Just because you loved "The Secret" does not mean I will.
Alcohol... Call me crazy, but I like giving people gifts of booze. If they drink that is. It's always fun to find a new drink that someone may end up liking or getting them a small bottle of their favorite wine, liqour, what have you. Make it into a little gift basket by adding a little box of hot chocolate to that bottle of peppermint schnapps. Or a pislner glass to go with that bottle of BBC. Many of my friends are adventurous drinkers, so getting them something that allows them to explore the depths of their lifestyle is always worth it. It also helps with the BYOB at holiday parties.

There are so many more kinds of gifts that people give out that I have skewed opinions on, like the ever present Poinsettia or other gift-y plants or food (baked, bought, in a can, or otherwise). But if I went into detail about those, I may end up writing a very snooty book about everything.

What was your favorite gift either given or received? Any re-gift horror stories?

By the by, have you ever noticed that a lot of the plants we put around our homes for the holidays are generally poisonous or just not good if you ingest them? Poinsettias, mistletoe, holly berries, that gourd that's been sitting on your coffee table in that strange arrangement since Halloween?