I got home last night from a very pleasant (albeit somewhat scary due to the weather) car ride from Boston to New York. After I had thoroughly thrown my belongings all over the living room, I was famished. So I went into the kitchen and lo and behold there was nothing. Well, I shouldn't say nothing... just that there was less than something in the fridge and cabinets. With what little things I did find though, I made something akin to an ok and not too unhealthy meal (I hope).
Here's what I had available:
1 can of cannellini beans
1 sprig of drying rosemary
1 box of baby arugula
3 oz of chevre
3 small onions
1 shriveled lemon
2 cans of chicken stock
verge of being stale Ziploc baggie of crostini
an almost empty box of Kashi shredded wheat cereal
a half full box of oreos (Costco sized)
1 pint of cream
1 pint of milk (1 day away from expiration)
various condiments and spices and baking supplies
Needless to say, I've got a nice little beggared kitchen going on post Thanksgiving. I am also quite loathe to purchase any additional groceries cause I'll be going home to the Lone Star state next week... Anywho,
Here is what I made out of all of it:
Arugula and goat cheese salad with a sherry-mustard vinaigrette
Cannelini bean dip with crostini
Almost frozen cereal cookies n cream
This being a blog that starts with the word nosh, I thought I'd write out the little recipes as I've seemingly been lagging in "nosh" notes. Please bear with me as I just threw this together without measuring a thing... give it a whirl if you've got the time! And, I've got to take pictures of these things as proof!
Let's start from dessert:
Almost frozen cereal cookies n cream
I remembered this article I read about Momofuku Milk Bar's cereal milk softserv that they have there. It sounded so weird but also like the perfect treat. So I gave it a go with what little concept I had.
Ingredients:
5 oreos - crushed into bits
6-8 pieces of Kashi shredded wheat cereal - crushed
1 cup - milk
1 cup - cream
about 3 Tb of sugar
pinch of salt
dash of vanilla extract
Dissolve the sugar and salt completely in a mixing bowl with the milk, cream and vanilla. Add the oreos and cereal. Mix thoroughly. Cover with plastic wrap and place in freezer. I did about 2 hours.
Mind you I have an ice cream attachment for my Kitchen Aid but sheer laziness for correctly making ice cream led me to just freeze the whole thing. I started freaking out a little bit as I realized this may taste like the worst thing in the world. Also, it looked a little weird when I pulled it out of the freezer, what with the lumps of shredded wheat.
VERDICT: Tasty, sweet, visually unappealing but holy jeez it was like eating breakfast for dessert which I have to say is awesome. I think next time I'd like to properly assemble it all with the ice cream attachment.
Cannellini Bean Dip
This was something I had made for Thanksgiving so I just went with the flow.
Ingredients:
1 can of cannellini beans (drained)
1/2 sprig of rosemary - leaves removes and minced
1/2 cup of chicken stock
about 3-4 Tb of onions - minced
about 1 tsp of lemon zest
about 2 tsp of lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste
olive oil for sauteing + a little for the end
Saute the onions and rosemary in a small pot until the onions are tender. Add the chicken stock and beans. Simmer on the stove for about 10-15 minutes until the beans are completely heated through and the stock has reduced a little. In a blender or with a hand blender, puree the mixture. Add lemon juice and zest and a dollop of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Serve with crostini or sliced french bread.
VERDICT: Absolutely yummy! And very filling which is a good thing. If I had pita, I would have used it like hummus. This recipe is usually quadrupled for gatherings as an appetizer.
Arugula and goat cheese salad with a sherry-mustard vinaigrette
A very simple salad that combines all my favorite things - cheese, arugula, mustard. I like my salad dressings on the more acidic side so you can tone down the mustard and other tart things if you want.
Ingredients:
About 2 cups of arugula
1 oz of goat cheese (chevre)
1 Tb - mustard (preferably something grainy or deli style)
4 Tb - olive oil
1 Tb - sherry vinegar
1 Tb of minced onions
salt and pepper to taste
For the vinaigrette, combine the mustard, vinegar and minced onions with a whisk. With the bottom of a wooden spoon, mash the onions in the mixture. While whisking the mixture, slowly add the olive oil until fully incorporated. Add salt and pepper to taste.
In a mixing bowl, toss the arugula with the vinaigrette. Top with bits of goat cheese.
VERDICT: Seriously, how can you not like a good salad? The chevre really adds a little something to the arugula and dressing. It's so savory and filling!
Overall and in the end, I'm pretty happy with the random nature of the meal last night. And, I had leftovers of the dip for me to snack on at lunch the next day. I also can't wait to try some more of that Cereal Cookies n Cream tonight. I mean hey, I could have done worse. Like, ordering out. :)
What do you think? Could I have made it better? Worse? Different dishes all together?
What was your favorite impromptu meal?
And yes, I know I'm playing with fire when I make ice cream with milk that has one day to go....
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Singles Ads
Ok Facebook, gmail, other sites I frequent... I know that you know in your smart HAL mind that I'm single. It's written everywhere. I should probably take it off my profile so you'll leave me alone. But wait... you won't cause now you know.
No I don't want love horoscopes and single meets at some place that I have to pay $30 to attend to chat with other poor saps just like me. I'm not in the mood for dating through religious websites such as "Christian Dating" and "Catholic Match" where the slogans read God Loves You and So Let Him Divine You A Partner.
I rather liked it when the only pop-ups and sidebar links were for things like clothes and tickets and movie reviews and the occasional porn link. But now... now you're just rubbing it in my human face with your digital palm the stink of loneliness. Well joke's on you internet cause I am happy in my world of friends and nights out and movie rentals. And even though you tempt me with sites like plentyoffish.com where the matchmaking is free, if I wanted to be matched, I would have asked Tevya to get the old lady in the village.
That's all.
No I don't want love horoscopes and single meets at some place that I have to pay $30 to attend to chat with other poor saps just like me. I'm not in the mood for dating through religious websites such as "Christian Dating" and "Catholic Match" where the slogans read God Loves You and So Let Him Divine You A Partner.
I rather liked it when the only pop-ups and sidebar links were for things like clothes and tickets and movie reviews and the occasional porn link. But now... now you're just rubbing it in my human face with your digital palm the stink of loneliness. Well joke's on you internet cause I am happy in my world of friends and nights out and movie rentals. And even though you tempt me with sites like plentyoffish.com where the matchmaking is free, if I wanted to be matched, I would have asked Tevya to get the old lady in the village.
That's all.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
You're the man, Steve Buscemi
Of all the people in the world of entertainment, I would have to subjectively say that Steve Buscemi is one of the best. (Right up there with my all time favorite Liev Schreiber.) His very unique features, voice and mannerisms are known to everyone who has seen a movie or TV show in the past couple decades. This may sound like a love letter to some. To those some, I say yes, you are correct. I love Steve Buscemi. Love the fact that he can play lowbrow characters in Adam Sandler films and yet also, the brooding, sad figure in others. Calling an actor versatile in this day and age is as common as hearing Kanye West freak out at someone. Apparently, there are Disney kids who are "versatile" for acting like a psycho patient in an episode of "Grey's Anatomy." Hmmm, I disagree. Buscemi, however, is, in true form, an actor with versatility. I mean seriously. From Reservoir Dogs and Con Air to Big Daddy and The Wedding Singer. Complete psychotic messes to drunken, silly fools. And, even though he's almost always a supporting character or bit part in a film, he always comes away as one of the more memorable moments in a show or film. He's one of those foils that either directly or indirectly spurs some leading character into action. Like a Rosencrantz or Guildenstern with a hint of Horatio in the mix. Unfortunately, like R&G, he usually ends up dead.
Below are a number of personal favorite moments in cinematic history that were made better by the addition of a Mr. Steve Buscemi:
Speaking of stalker-ish, I'll leave you with some random tidbits about Mr. Pink Steve Buscemi:
What were some of your best moments of Steve Buscemi? Private Investigator from 30 Rock? Poor wood chipped criminal in Fargo?
Below are a number of personal favorite moments in cinematic history that were made better by the addition of a Mr. Steve Buscemi:
- Con Air (Garland "The Marietta Mangler" Greene) - First off, hooray! He lives at the end of the film! And, he's apparently a reformed psychotic serial killer. Aside from Nicholas Cage's flowing locks and semi-authentic Southern accent, this movie was a fun Bruckheimer film that made you believe that there are only 2 kinds of people who go to prison. The misunderstood "I was just protecting my pregnant wife from hecklers" ex-soldier, and the "I really am a bad guy, so bad I'm going to hijack this plane of other prisoners and then call it Con Air." With his Silence of the Lambs-esque entrance into the film and his comic relief ending (once you forget that he was sent to jail for extreme murders), Buscemi really helps flesh out this wild action romp that was pretty much the heyday of "Nicholas Cage super action superstar"-mania.
- Armageddon (Rockhound) - Another Bruckheimer film? And he lives again!? Apparently Jerry's got some lovin' for Steve. As a perv, hypersexual drilling expert (for offshore oil rigs that is), Buscemi is again the comedic outlet to this doomsday via asteroid film that was notable for a few things: Bruce Willis bad assery and bad one-liners, Aerosmith theme music, it came out the same time as Deep Impact (which was less fun) and it marked the start of a very promising career for Ben Affleck as an actor... or did it? All in all, a good film for Steve and very enjoyable.
- Living In Oblivion (Nick Reve) - A film school favorite that pretty much represents all the angst and frustration that any director is going to have with a film on any budget. As the beleaguered director, Buscemi gives a great performance as that "I'm going slightly mad" character that wants to throttle you with his bare hands while also trying to get the job done as nicely as he can. Everything about this film stands out from its excellent cast including Dermot Mulroney and Kevin Corrigan as DP and AC to the shooting style. A must for everyone. And, of course, Steve Buscemi is the lead!
- The Big Lebowski (Donny Kerabatsos) - Talk about giving an amazing performance with the least amount of screen time. His role is minute in this film, but the way that Jeff Bridges and John Goodman's characters play off of Buscemi are hilarious. From Goodman's rants on just about everything to the quintessential "Shut the f*** up, Donny," Buscemi's character is probably one of the greatest (mostly silent) observers of human nature as he attempts to follow the combinations of his two cohorts. Fun fact: Buscemi has appeared in more Coen Brother's films than any other actor and has died in about half of them... this being one of them (spoiler alert)
- Boardwalk Empire (Enoch 'Nucky' Thompson) - The fact that I pay over the internet to watch this show instead of biding my time for it to come out on DVD kind of says a lot. In it's first season on HBO, this show has really got something going. If you haven't seen the show yet, do it now. Maybe it's because I have a thing for period dramas/shows, but nothing says amazing like prohibition-era violence and power. At first I was a little skeptical that Buscemi could pull off leading man in a series. Especially a character that seems so corrupt and yet morally divided. But, after the first couple episodes I was hooked. He broods, he gets down and dirty and at the same time tries to fill a personal void with children and love. It seems cut and dry, but this show has its complexities that keep it stellar through each episode. Also, Steve's getting to show off a range of acting that one rarely sees from someone who played "Lazy Eyes" in Mr. Deeds.
Speaking of stalker-ish, I'll leave you with some random tidbits about Mr. Pink Steve Buscemi:
- He grew up in Valley Stream, NY
- Was a fireman of the NYFD. After the WTC Towers fell, he worked as a volunteer with the NYFD to sift through rubble and look for missing firefighters. He is still a volunteer fireman today.
- He originally auditioned for the part of George Costanza on "Seinfeld"
- In April of 2001, he was stabbed in the head, throat and arm at the Firebelly Lounge in Wilmington, NC. Actor Vince Vaughn was arrested for fighting back one of the attackers.
- In his youth, he was struck by a bus and also a car.
What were some of your best moments of Steve Buscemi? Private Investigator from 30 Rock? Poor wood chipped criminal in Fargo?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Step Away From the Fridge
I love celebrating the holidays. I love cooking even more. (Look forward to some tasty recipes coming your way for the rest of the month.)
What I don't like is feeling bloated and stuffed and generally tired from eating too much. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat. It's my favorite pastime right next to drinking. In some instances, I think I substitute food for love, but I'm not about to marry that blueberry pie I made. I do, however, seem to gain a disgustingly large amount of the L-Bs from Thanksgiving to New Year's.
It's hard to stay on top of exercising when the holidays throw you into a smorgasbord of delights from pies to stuffing to you name it. And with your family around, you'd rather be putting together puzzles and watching football than drag yourself outside in the cold for a jog. Then of course there are the leftovers. Don't deny it, you can't just throw all that good food away. So you store it in your little plastic boxes and bowls. Ziploc up that turkey leg you couldn't eat earlier. Also, didn't a parent once tell you that there are all those starving kids in Africa? Of course you'll feel horrible and feel like you have to finish the leftovers. Oh leftovers. It's not the scrumptious banquet that you had at Thanksgiving. It's the airtight containers of that same meal that are sitting in your fridge right now that are ruining your hard won waistline.
My attitude towards leftovers in the fridge is if it starts to smell funky, even the slightest, toss it. I'd say shelf-life is about one week to a week and a half (2 weeks - you're really pushing it)... But who knows? Maybe you found a really good way to preserve whatever the hell it is you have in the fridge. Freezing helps too.
But, you still have all this stuff in your fridge. It's like a ticking timebomb of possible gastrointestinal discomfort, and it's wasting your precious fridge space. So what do you do?
You eat with a fervor that is only seen in puppies. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you do something with those leftovers to make it more palatable, slowly whittling them down and regaining control over storage containers. Turkey pot pie, mashed potato croquettes, stuffing scrambled eggs. Until finally... finally... it's all spoiled or you're fed up or you finally ate everything.
This is generally the scenario I have. Though I'm pretty sure that by this weekend I will have disposed of the rest of the turkey pot pie because seriously, I need to poultry detox for the next holiday.
So eat away fellow foodies... but beware of those carbs you're heating up. They'll come back to bite you in the bum... literally.
What I don't like is feeling bloated and stuffed and generally tired from eating too much. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat. It's my favorite pastime right next to drinking. In some instances, I think I substitute food for love, but I'm not about to marry that blueberry pie I made. I do, however, seem to gain a disgustingly large amount of the L-Bs from Thanksgiving to New Year's.
It's hard to stay on top of exercising when the holidays throw you into a smorgasbord of delights from pies to stuffing to you name it. And with your family around, you'd rather be putting together puzzles and watching football than drag yourself outside in the cold for a jog. Then of course there are the leftovers. Don't deny it, you can't just throw all that good food away. So you store it in your little plastic boxes and bowls. Ziploc up that turkey leg you couldn't eat earlier. Also, didn't a parent once tell you that there are all those starving kids in Africa? Of course you'll feel horrible and feel like you have to finish the leftovers. Oh leftovers. It's not the scrumptious banquet that you had at Thanksgiving. It's the airtight containers of that same meal that are sitting in your fridge right now that are ruining your hard won waistline.
My attitude towards leftovers in the fridge is if it starts to smell funky, even the slightest, toss it. I'd say shelf-life is about one week to a week and a half (2 weeks - you're really pushing it)... But who knows? Maybe you found a really good way to preserve whatever the hell it is you have in the fridge. Freezing helps too.
But, you still have all this stuff in your fridge. It's like a ticking timebomb of possible gastrointestinal discomfort, and it's wasting your precious fridge space. So what do you do?
You eat with a fervor that is only seen in puppies. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you do something with those leftovers to make it more palatable, slowly whittling them down and regaining control over storage containers. Turkey pot pie, mashed potato croquettes, stuffing scrambled eggs. Until finally... finally... it's all spoiled or you're fed up or you finally ate everything.
This is generally the scenario I have. Though I'm pretty sure that by this weekend I will have disposed of the rest of the turkey pot pie because seriously, I need to poultry detox for the next holiday.
So eat away fellow foodies... but beware of those carbs you're heating up. They'll come back to bite you in the bum... literally.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Presence of Presents
What is the deal with gifts?
We agonize over what someone would really enjoy or like, or at least I do. It takes hours just to figure out if it's a) a good enough gift b) it won't bite me in the ass financially.
I know I should be saving this post for the Christmas time, but a lot of my dear friends have birthdays this month so I've been running rampant through the city trying to find perfect gifts that won't out do the holiday gifts I'll be getting for people. That's right I'm a jerk to myself. It's like the I'm trying to be an overachiever to myself, sticking it to me, which is kind of lame. But, knowing that I'll be financially strapped this time around, I'm getting pretty good at the frugal purchases that are still meaningful.
Let discuss the notion of gifting. It's very important to get a gift that someone will enjoy (or at least you think they'll enjoy it), but also be aware that if you're unsure that that person may inevitably not like, it may end up being re-gifted. Let's start there...
It's not really rude to re-gift. As the way things go, it's like a donation. You're not going to use it so you might as well give it to someone who will. BUT a few words to the wise:
1) Don't show your disappointment at a gift given. Fawn over it, love it, write a thank you note. Then surreptitiously put it away.
2) Wait a reasonable amount of time before re-gifting. It's like dating. Sure you can jump right back in, but things may turn out to be more disastrous than if you had waited. If you immediately re-gift something, well it's pretty much the same as throwing it away with the leftovers from your party. Wait a few months. Really make that commitment that you're going to give this present to someone else.
3) Re-wrap the gift in a different gift wrap or bag. If it came in a yellow bag covered with happy birthdays all over it, put it in a different bag. First off, it looks weird and used. Secondly, your goal is to make it look new.
4) If the gift is in its original packaging, DON'T open it. Leave it untouched. Going back to #3, it's got to look new. It's like one of those action figures that loses its value after you take it out of the box. Or, a package of Oreos that you've eaten a couple out of then given to someone. My aunt gave me a Christmas present last year that consisted of old crystal candy dishes that had obviously been used by her once and was taped shut with masking tape. The sentiment was there and I use them quite frequently, but it looked like it "fell off" the back of a truck.
5) When you re-gift, be sure to gift it to someone entirely set apart from whatever set of friends or people you got your gift from. I once got a lovely gift for someone only to see it opened a few months down the road at a mutual friends birthday party. I didn't put it against this other person for re-gifting but it did smart a little that they gifted it to someone that we both knew. If we were drunk, it could have gotten ugly.
Getting a gift...
If you have a spending problem, like me, that consists of purchasing bits here and there for other people when you see something cool they might like, then it'd be good to keep in mind what people do or do not like.
Ties... I've gotten into getting people ties. Mainly because they're beautiful and my dude friends all work in some suit wearing manner. And really, you can never really have too many nice ties. BUT, if you find yourself getting a tie in the same pattern as the last 3 times, maybe you should consider something else.
Winter wear... it's always something someone can use. Gloves wear out, scarves and hats get lost or dirtied. BUT, don't do it every year. You'll get pegged as "the one who always gets us hats" and probably start seeing your gifts re-gifted fairly quickly. It's cuter if you do it every other/few years.
Media... nowadays people have iPods and such so getting them a CD is a little strange. Apple/iTunes cards or what have you are always welcome. They're not bulky which is also great cause you can truss it up in a nice little box or whatever. Same goes with DVDs and movies. There are so many different media players now that you're bound to get something wrong. For my 15th birthday my father got me the Die Hard Trilogy on DVD. I was super pumped about it until I realized we didn't own a DVD player. I had to wait till my 16th birthday to get that.
Gift Cards... it may not seem intimate as a gift, but it's always nice to get a gift card. And the thought is still there because your friend realized that "hey, you deserve to get something that you really want. Here's a gift card to your favorite store." Or now, they even have those nifty "not really credit card" gift cards.
Clothes... they can be a great gift or a disaster depending on what you purchase and what not. Also, if you do choose to buy a gift, please for the love of god find out what size the recipient is before purchasing. Nothing's more embarrassing that when you get a beautiful skirt in the mail only to find it's 4x too big. Then you think maybe if I just gorge myself, I'll fit into this.
Books... I'd put these in the same category as media, a lot of people read on Kindles or nooks or whatever. I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to get beyond a good book. Also, nothing says snit like handing someone a book that you think they'll "LOOOOOOVE." Just because you loved "The Secret" does not mean I will.
Alcohol... Call me crazy, but I like giving people gifts of booze. If they drink that is. It's always fun to find a new drink that someone may end up liking or getting them a small bottle of their favorite wine, liqour, what have you. Make it into a little gift basket by adding a little box of hot chocolate to that bottle of peppermint schnapps. Or a pislner glass to go with that bottle of BBC. Many of my friends are adventurous drinkers, so getting them something that allows them to explore the depths of their lifestyle is always worth it. It also helps with the BYOB at holiday parties.
There are so many more kinds of gifts that people give out that I have skewed opinions on, like the ever present Poinsettia or other gift-y plants or food (baked, bought, in a can, or otherwise). But if I went into detail about those, I may end up writing a very snooty book about everything.
What was your favorite gift either given or received? Any re-gift horror stories?
By the by, have you ever noticed that a lot of the plants we put around our homes for the holidays are generally poisonous or just not good if you ingest them? Poinsettias, mistletoe, holly berries, that gourd that's been sitting on your coffee table in that strange arrangement since Halloween?
We agonize over what someone would really enjoy or like, or at least I do. It takes hours just to figure out if it's a) a good enough gift b) it won't bite me in the ass financially.
I know I should be saving this post for the Christmas time, but a lot of my dear friends have birthdays this month so I've been running rampant through the city trying to find perfect gifts that won't out do the holiday gifts I'll be getting for people. That's right I'm a jerk to myself. It's like the I'm trying to be an overachiever to myself, sticking it to me, which is kind of lame. But, knowing that I'll be financially strapped this time around, I'm getting pretty good at the frugal purchases that are still meaningful.
Let discuss the notion of gifting. It's very important to get a gift that someone will enjoy (or at least you think they'll enjoy it), but also be aware that if you're unsure that that person may inevitably not like, it may end up being re-gifted. Let's start there...
It's not really rude to re-gift. As the way things go, it's like a donation. You're not going to use it so you might as well give it to someone who will. BUT a few words to the wise:
1) Don't show your disappointment at a gift given. Fawn over it, love it, write a thank you note. Then surreptitiously put it away.
2) Wait a reasonable amount of time before re-gifting. It's like dating. Sure you can jump right back in, but things may turn out to be more disastrous than if you had waited. If you immediately re-gift something, well it's pretty much the same as throwing it away with the leftovers from your party. Wait a few months. Really make that commitment that you're going to give this present to someone else.
3) Re-wrap the gift in a different gift wrap or bag. If it came in a yellow bag covered with happy birthdays all over it, put it in a different bag. First off, it looks weird and used. Secondly, your goal is to make it look new.
4) If the gift is in its original packaging, DON'T open it. Leave it untouched. Going back to #3, it's got to look new. It's like one of those action figures that loses its value after you take it out of the box. Or, a package of Oreos that you've eaten a couple out of then given to someone. My aunt gave me a Christmas present last year that consisted of old crystal candy dishes that had obviously been used by her once and was taped shut with masking tape. The sentiment was there and I use them quite frequently, but it looked like it "fell off" the back of a truck.
5) When you re-gift, be sure to gift it to someone entirely set apart from whatever set of friends or people you got your gift from. I once got a lovely gift for someone only to see it opened a few months down the road at a mutual friends birthday party. I didn't put it against this other person for re-gifting but it did smart a little that they gifted it to someone that we both knew. If we were drunk, it could have gotten ugly.
Getting a gift...
If you have a spending problem, like me, that consists of purchasing bits here and there for other people when you see something cool they might like, then it'd be good to keep in mind what people do or do not like.
Ties... I've gotten into getting people ties. Mainly because they're beautiful and my dude friends all work in some suit wearing manner. And really, you can never really have too many nice ties. BUT, if you find yourself getting a tie in the same pattern as the last 3 times, maybe you should consider something else.
Winter wear... it's always something someone can use. Gloves wear out, scarves and hats get lost or dirtied. BUT, don't do it every year. You'll get pegged as "the one who always gets us hats" and probably start seeing your gifts re-gifted fairly quickly. It's cuter if you do it every other/few years.
Media... nowadays people have iPods and such so getting them a CD is a little strange. Apple/iTunes cards or what have you are always welcome. They're not bulky which is also great cause you can truss it up in a nice little box or whatever. Same goes with DVDs and movies. There are so many different media players now that you're bound to get something wrong. For my 15th birthday my father got me the Die Hard Trilogy on DVD. I was super pumped about it until I realized we didn't own a DVD player. I had to wait till my 16th birthday to get that.
Gift Cards... it may not seem intimate as a gift, but it's always nice to get a gift card. And the thought is still there because your friend realized that "hey, you deserve to get something that you really want. Here's a gift card to your favorite store." Or now, they even have those nifty "not really credit card" gift cards.
Clothes... they can be a great gift or a disaster depending on what you purchase and what not. Also, if you do choose to buy a gift, please for the love of god find out what size the recipient is before purchasing. Nothing's more embarrassing that when you get a beautiful skirt in the mail only to find it's 4x too big. Then you think maybe if I just gorge myself, I'll fit into this.
Books... I'd put these in the same category as media, a lot of people read on Kindles or nooks or whatever. I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to get beyond a good book. Also, nothing says snit like handing someone a book that you think they'll "LOOOOOOVE." Just because you loved "The Secret" does not mean I will.
Alcohol... Call me crazy, but I like giving people gifts of booze. If they drink that is. It's always fun to find a new drink that someone may end up liking or getting them a small bottle of their favorite wine, liqour, what have you. Make it into a little gift basket by adding a little box of hot chocolate to that bottle of peppermint schnapps. Or a pislner glass to go with that bottle of BBC. Many of my friends are adventurous drinkers, so getting them something that allows them to explore the depths of their lifestyle is always worth it. It also helps with the BYOB at holiday parties.
There are so many more kinds of gifts that people give out that I have skewed opinions on, like the ever present Poinsettia or other gift-y plants or food (baked, bought, in a can, or otherwise). But if I went into detail about those, I may end up writing a very snooty book about everything.
What was your favorite gift either given or received? Any re-gift horror stories?
By the by, have you ever noticed that a lot of the plants we put around our homes for the holidays are generally poisonous or just not good if you ingest them? Poinsettias, mistletoe, holly berries, that gourd that's been sitting on your coffee table in that strange arrangement since Halloween?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
My eBay-ing Past
Just recently I went on eBay when the Texas Rangers made it into the ALCS, and I searched for some tickets to bid on for when they came up to New York. I was slightly embarrassed to remember as I signed into my account my original reason for even joining eBay.
I was definitely in high school... definitely a psychotic fan of Russell Crowe right after L.A. Confidential came out (still a crazy fan)... then as he progressively got more and more famous, I had to know more about him. So I signed up on eBay, and bid and purchased many a silly number of magazines from Australia that featured Mr. Crowe. I think at one point I paid $50 for an old magazine that featured him on the cover with purple lipstick... I'm a dork I'll admit it. And in my untouched childhood bedroom there is a cardboard box filled to the brim with magazines I hoarded that had him on the cover... and Ewan McGregor, and Guy Pearce and any other assortment of hot celebrity at the time. Surprisingly I skipped the whole Leonardo DiCapri-dreamboat phase of my life... (oh also, this is also when I learned of paypal and essentially used what little scraps of money I had in my paltry bank account that my mom set up for me to pay for these periodicals)
But it's funny how you think about why you first signed up for certain things. I did it cause I had a hunger for the unkown, aka Russell Crowe. I mean now I use eBay on occasion to purchase practical things like commemorative 2008 Beijing Olympic dolls (definitely not practical), a pitcher for someone's birthday (practical), an official Buckaroo Bonzai samurai headband (clearly not practical, luckily someone outbid me) and various musical instruments like a trumpet (which i lost the mouthpiece to) and a french horn (which i still play so i guess pretty practical).
Amazon.com was another one of those strange sites that, when I think back, I had no reason at all to be purchasing stuff from there as a 15 year old teen. Seriously. What was I thinking?
Now I use these sites to buy obscure movies and tickets to events. I've definitely toned down the frequency of purchases but I'll still get the occasional silly item... hello kitty phone charms in 12 colors? Yes, please.
What are some of the sites that you frequent for purchases? Don't be shy! I've already aired some of my less than stellar buys... (mainly all of them)
I was definitely in high school... definitely a psychotic fan of Russell Crowe right after L.A. Confidential came out (still a crazy fan)... then as he progressively got more and more famous, I had to know more about him. So I signed up on eBay, and bid and purchased many a silly number of magazines from Australia that featured Mr. Crowe. I think at one point I paid $50 for an old magazine that featured him on the cover with purple lipstick... I'm a dork I'll admit it. And in my untouched childhood bedroom there is a cardboard box filled to the brim with magazines I hoarded that had him on the cover... and Ewan McGregor, and Guy Pearce and any other assortment of hot celebrity at the time. Surprisingly I skipped the whole Leonardo DiCapri-dreamboat phase of my life... (oh also, this is also when I learned of paypal and essentially used what little scraps of money I had in my paltry bank account that my mom set up for me to pay for these periodicals)
But it's funny how you think about why you first signed up for certain things. I did it cause I had a hunger for the unkown, aka Russell Crowe. I mean now I use eBay on occasion to purchase practical things like commemorative 2008 Beijing Olympic dolls (definitely not practical), a pitcher for someone's birthday (practical), an official Buckaroo Bonzai samurai headband (clearly not practical, luckily someone outbid me) and various musical instruments like a trumpet (which i lost the mouthpiece to) and a french horn (which i still play so i guess pretty practical).
Amazon.com was another one of those strange sites that, when I think back, I had no reason at all to be purchasing stuff from there as a 15 year old teen. Seriously. What was I thinking?
Now I use these sites to buy obscure movies and tickets to events. I've definitely toned down the frequency of purchases but I'll still get the occasional silly item... hello kitty phone charms in 12 colors? Yes, please.
What are some of the sites that you frequent for purchases? Don't be shy! I've already aired some of my less than stellar buys... (mainly all of them)
Monday, November 8, 2010
A Guy Walks Into A Bar
So a guy walks into a bar. There are girls there. The girls are having a generally good time. The guy and his guy friends come over and they strike up a lively group. The girls initially shy away and try to brush the men off, but eventually, after a few more drinks and random inquiries the general air around this high top is one of friendly banter and good vibrations.
Cut to the end of the night... it's closing time, the sun will literally start to lighten up the night in 3 hours. Numbers are exchanged, promises of seeing everyone again at the same bar in some future date. One girl turns to one guy and says "hey you said you work near where I live, if you're ever up for it and want to grab a drink let me know. I'm always looking for new friends to drink with."
Guy replies, "Cool, yeah I dunno, I'm kind of gunning for your friend over there, but if that doesn't work out, I'll definitely give you a call."
Music screeches to a halt, all conversation is suspended in the bar. Freeze frame in movie time.
WTF just happened?
If you haven't realized by now, these events did actually happen, and I was that girl who tried to make a new friend but somehow got shot down for something else. What the...
How come I can't just make a new guy friend? Did my air of utter contempt, aloofness and ability to drink whiskey like a sailor translate as "I'm desperate for a companion that I can become clingy and insanely overbearing to." Apparently it did.
Did the statement that I like drinking. AND I'm always looking for new friends to drink with translate to "I want you. In my bed." I guess it did.
That is just ludicrous.... and to top it off, if I was actually hitting on you, telling me that you're "gunning" for my friend and that I'm as good as sloppy seconds really does cause my "infatuation" for you to grow... well, I mean hey, you really know how to get a girl's hear racing.
That was a couple months ago so I'm not really still smarting from it (ok maybe when I actually think about the whole situation), but it sure was a funny event huh? I was reminded of that moment in ludicrous history as I watched one of those movies where the guy likes a girl, and another girl hits on the guy and the guy tells the other girl he likes her friend... You see that's how you're supposed to do it. IF the other girl apparently likes you. Which it seems is what this fool of a dude thought. I'm no Jessica Rabbit mind you, so I'm not offended in that way that would make me shallow (I am secretly shallow), but come on!
Word to the wise, i.e. drunk guy hitting on a girl within a group of other girls. Don't be a d-bag to one of her friends. Don't turn down friendship, well you could, but is that getting any closer to your goal of hooking up with my friend? I know it may be odd for you to find yourself in a situation where a girl wants a platonic relationship and not go immediately home with you. If you're unsure as to whether this other girl is "hitting on you," just ask.
It may go something like this:
"Are you hitting on me?"
"No. I thought you were hitting on my friend?"
"Yes, I am."
"Cool, to clarify, I am asking you to have a drink with me as a possible future friend that I can call up to grab a drink with because you work a few blocks away from my abode. Not someone I can make babies with cause that's gross and our DNA is clearly not compatible. "
"Oh ok. Sure. Will you tell your hot lady friend that I am merely being nice to you as a friend?"
"Yes, I will. I will also let her know that you were so nice to me, the plain jane, that you deserve a chance."
Ta-Da! Friendship and a chance at that girl you were trying to get at all night!
Trust me drunk monsieur, it may or may not work. I thought I read too deeply into things but sir you take the cake. And that is the end of that sad, sad rant... don't get me started on how asian guys try to impress you...
What's your best/worst encounter whilst being inebriated at a bar and striking up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex?
What do you wish you could say to someone after the fact?
Cut to the end of the night... it's closing time, the sun will literally start to lighten up the night in 3 hours. Numbers are exchanged, promises of seeing everyone again at the same bar in some future date. One girl turns to one guy and says "hey you said you work near where I live, if you're ever up for it and want to grab a drink let me know. I'm always looking for new friends to drink with."
Guy replies, "Cool, yeah I dunno, I'm kind of gunning for your friend over there, but if that doesn't work out, I'll definitely give you a call."
Music screeches to a halt, all conversation is suspended in the bar. Freeze frame in movie time.
WTF just happened?
If you haven't realized by now, these events did actually happen, and I was that girl who tried to make a new friend but somehow got shot down for something else. What the...
How come I can't just make a new guy friend? Did my air of utter contempt, aloofness and ability to drink whiskey like a sailor translate as "I'm desperate for a companion that I can become clingy and insanely overbearing to." Apparently it did.
Did the statement that I like drinking. AND I'm always looking for new friends to drink with translate to "I want you. In my bed." I guess it did.
That is just ludicrous.... and to top it off, if I was actually hitting on you, telling me that you're "gunning" for my friend and that I'm as good as sloppy seconds really does cause my "infatuation" for you to grow... well, I mean hey, you really know how to get a girl's hear racing.
That was a couple months ago so I'm not really still smarting from it (ok maybe when I actually think about the whole situation), but it sure was a funny event huh? I was reminded of that moment in ludicrous history as I watched one of those movies where the guy likes a girl, and another girl hits on the guy and the guy tells the other girl he likes her friend... You see that's how you're supposed to do it. IF the other girl apparently likes you. Which it seems is what this fool of a dude thought. I'm no Jessica Rabbit mind you, so I'm not offended in that way that would make me shallow (I am secretly shallow), but come on!
Word to the wise, i.e. drunk guy hitting on a girl within a group of other girls. Don't be a d-bag to one of her friends. Don't turn down friendship, well you could, but is that getting any closer to your goal of hooking up with my friend? I know it may be odd for you to find yourself in a situation where a girl wants a platonic relationship and not go immediately home with you. If you're unsure as to whether this other girl is "hitting on you," just ask.
It may go something like this:
"Are you hitting on me?"
"No. I thought you were hitting on my friend?"
"Yes, I am."
"Cool, to clarify, I am asking you to have a drink with me as a possible future friend that I can call up to grab a drink with because you work a few blocks away from my abode. Not someone I can make babies with cause that's gross and our DNA is clearly not compatible. "
"Oh ok. Sure. Will you tell your hot lady friend that I am merely being nice to you as a friend?"
"Yes, I will. I will also let her know that you were so nice to me, the plain jane, that you deserve a chance."
Ta-Da! Friendship and a chance at that girl you were trying to get at all night!
Trust me drunk monsieur, it may or may not work. I thought I read too deeply into things but sir you take the cake. And that is the end of that sad, sad rant... don't get me started on how asian guys try to impress you...
What's your best/worst encounter whilst being inebriated at a bar and striking up a conversation with someone of the opposite sex?
What do you wish you could say to someone after the fact?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Those were the days my friend...
Just recently, like today, a friend told me to watch a video (here) that Martin High School shot and posted on their newsletter site. Although the "singers" weren't as together as an "anal-OCD-let me toot my own horn cause I was a film major who excelled at editing" like me would have liked to see, the concept to have an entire school of 3,800 bodies, including faculty and staff, come together in one continuous take was breathtaking to say the least. Each group, organization, click, niche, what have you, coalesced into a single organism called community. As I watched this video, I was reminded of my time in high school and how it was similar and yet very different from what it is now.
Many people, once they're done with school and higher education, tend to leave the past behind them. When I venture home for holidays or vacations, the general consensus for some of my friends is that high school WAS high school and no amount of cajoling can get them to go back into that building. I mean high school meant something right? We are all still friends. The best of friends to withstand the distances of college and post college life. Reminiscing of when "so and so" went out with "that person?" and then got all huffy when "blah" had a crush on "him/her." We post pictures that we dig up from the bottoms of our collective shoeboxes on Facebook or whatever friend community share site we have. High school was magical, many people married their sweethearts and are living their dream. So what's the aversion to walking around in the physical school?
I understand the most common complaint is that we are old. Not going on retirement-AARP old, but old enough that it would seem strange (and possibly sex offender type) to be prowling the hallways during Spirit Week. But who cares? Do it at least once. Look up the few teachers (if they're still there) who left a Sidney Poitier/"Welcome Back, Kotter" mark on your life, hopefully for the better. Get in touch with them. Then go to school and visit them. See what students they have now. Remember that you were once that small and wimpish. Even if you were an athlete, cause let's face it. You were in high school. You just went through puberty. This ain't no Dawson's Creek/high school movie of your choosing deal where you were always this hot and put together... if you were then I salute you, and I bid you safe journey in your bid for world domination. Your teachers, mentors, whoever would undoubtedly love to hear what you have been doing. I mean hey, you graduated from high school. You passed that hurdle of life. Give back, to say the least, to some of the people who built you into who are now.
Last year, during Thanksgiving, I went home. My mother, who has been a substitute teacher in our high school for as long as I can remember, took me to school with her. It was fun. Initially the most awkward thing ever, and I had thoughts of speeding away in my mother's minivan as we walked up to those security guarded doors. I don't know if your school had this, but if you are not a student you sign in, and then wear a tag the whole day to let people know that so you don't get carted off campus by rent-a-cops. Very detention center-ish but safe in its intent.
Anyways, my mother signed me in and then proceeded to show me off to everyone on staff. It's a point of pride for her that her daughters live in the northeast and lead successful lives. (Now that I've moved to NYC and am unemployed, I'm sure she's just talking about my sister to people.) I was traipsed around the building and then sat down in her class, where I proceeded to make myself as small as possible. The kids who entered stared at me like some freak. Their glances and questions to me screamed of "this is an adult?"
After that horror event, I was free to roam on my own. My mother gave me a list of teachers and their classrooms, and I proceeded to find as many of them as I could. Mrs. Warner, Mr. Atman, Mrs. Flynt, Ms. Dowdy, Mr. Hart, Mr. Cure. I still and will always probably until I am old and decrepit call these people by their last names. No way around that one. Some people didn't recognize me on first glance, but O-M-G, it was amazing! Chatting about their lives, about my life, about random things that happened or just general chatter. They introduced me to their promising students and embarrassed me by relating stories of my antics in school and my life now. I was crestfallen when I realized there would never be enough time to fully speak with all these people as they had to do a little something called "teach." But, when I left school at the end of the day, I was happy to have had the opportunity to actually get to know the people who taught me a thing or two about everything. I made a promise to myself that day that I would keep in touch with them as a friend should. Needless to say, I haven't really done well on my promise...
I love my high school. I say it with a possessive tone because it was mine, and everyone else's. We lived and breathed that school. Pouring as much or as little of ourselves into our classes and social interactions. We have forged friendships that have lasted a decade or more and will probably last forever. There are moments when I look at a photo on my wall and remember when it was taken, who else was there, and I wish that I could be home again. Living at home, being near these people. I wish that I could be close enough to go see a high school football game because, let's face it, it's Texas and high school sports are a major organ in the body of the state. I wish I could sit on that little hill off the school parking lot and watch the marching band go through its paces. I wish I could see the spring musical and reminisce about when a backdrop fell on me or when I attempted to inflate over 200 balloons by myself for Footloose. (As you can see, I've become quite sentimental about the whole thing. Damn you video.) Don't even get me started on the after-school hang outs... Braum's, Jack in the Box, CiCi's Pizza.
It was easy when we were in high school. As much as we wanted to be independent, we had it made. Room and board, free health care, etc... all taken care of. Even though I had a curfew, I could still be with my friends. Throwing stupid parties, giggling over crushes, making garters and mums for Homecoming, movie nights and sleepovers.
If you have fond memories of what used to be, or just curious about what's happening/happened, go visit your high school. Visit your teachers. Even if you feel you haven't achieved much in the way you thought you would, they'll welcome you with open arms. Glad to know that you've made it this far in life with only a handful of bumps and bruises showing. You're not too old or grown up to go back. Just look at Kotter.
What was your favorite high school memory, prank, whatever? (And I swear if you reference High School Musical or Varsity Blues I will find you and wag my finger at you)
Many people, once they're done with school and higher education, tend to leave the past behind them. When I venture home for holidays or vacations, the general consensus for some of my friends is that high school WAS high school and no amount of cajoling can get them to go back into that building. I mean high school meant something right? We are all still friends. The best of friends to withstand the distances of college and post college life. Reminiscing of when "so and so" went out with "that person?" and then got all huffy when "blah" had a crush on "him/her." We post pictures that we dig up from the bottoms of our collective shoeboxes on Facebook or whatever friend community share site we have. High school was magical, many people married their sweethearts and are living their dream. So what's the aversion to walking around in the physical school?
I understand the most common complaint is that we are old. Not going on retirement-AARP old, but old enough that it would seem strange (and possibly sex offender type) to be prowling the hallways during Spirit Week. But who cares? Do it at least once. Look up the few teachers (if they're still there) who left a Sidney Poitier/"Welcome Back, Kotter" mark on your life, hopefully for the better. Get in touch with them. Then go to school and visit them. See what students they have now. Remember that you were once that small and wimpish. Even if you were an athlete, cause let's face it. You were in high school. You just went through puberty. This ain't no Dawson's Creek/high school movie of your choosing deal where you were always this hot and put together... if you were then I salute you, and I bid you safe journey in your bid for world domination. Your teachers, mentors, whoever would undoubtedly love to hear what you have been doing. I mean hey, you graduated from high school. You passed that hurdle of life. Give back, to say the least, to some of the people who built you into who are now.
Last year, during Thanksgiving, I went home. My mother, who has been a substitute teacher in our high school for as long as I can remember, took me to school with her. It was fun. Initially the most awkward thing ever, and I had thoughts of speeding away in my mother's minivan as we walked up to those security guarded doors. I don't know if your school had this, but if you are not a student you sign in, and then wear a tag the whole day to let people know that so you don't get carted off campus by rent-a-cops. Very detention center-ish but safe in its intent.
Anyways, my mother signed me in and then proceeded to show me off to everyone on staff. It's a point of pride for her that her daughters live in the northeast and lead successful lives. (Now that I've moved to NYC and am unemployed, I'm sure she's just talking about my sister to people.) I was traipsed around the building and then sat down in her class, where I proceeded to make myself as small as possible. The kids who entered stared at me like some freak. Their glances and questions to me screamed of "this is an adult?"
After that horror event, I was free to roam on my own. My mother gave me a list of teachers and their classrooms, and I proceeded to find as many of them as I could. Mrs. Warner, Mr. Atman, Mrs. Flynt, Ms. Dowdy, Mr. Hart, Mr. Cure. I still and will always probably until I am old and decrepit call these people by their last names. No way around that one. Some people didn't recognize me on first glance, but O-M-G, it was amazing! Chatting about their lives, about my life, about random things that happened or just general chatter. They introduced me to their promising students and embarrassed me by relating stories of my antics in school and my life now. I was crestfallen when I realized there would never be enough time to fully speak with all these people as they had to do a little something called "teach." But, when I left school at the end of the day, I was happy to have had the opportunity to actually get to know the people who taught me a thing or two about everything. I made a promise to myself that day that I would keep in touch with them as a friend should. Needless to say, I haven't really done well on my promise...
I love my high school. I say it with a possessive tone because it was mine, and everyone else's. We lived and breathed that school. Pouring as much or as little of ourselves into our classes and social interactions. We have forged friendships that have lasted a decade or more and will probably last forever. There are moments when I look at a photo on my wall and remember when it was taken, who else was there, and I wish that I could be home again. Living at home, being near these people. I wish that I could be close enough to go see a high school football game because, let's face it, it's Texas and high school sports are a major organ in the body of the state. I wish I could sit on that little hill off the school parking lot and watch the marching band go through its paces. I wish I could see the spring musical and reminisce about when a backdrop fell on me or when I attempted to inflate over 200 balloons by myself for Footloose. (As you can see, I've become quite sentimental about the whole thing. Damn you video.) Don't even get me started on the after-school hang outs... Braum's, Jack in the Box, CiCi's Pizza.
It was easy when we were in high school. As much as we wanted to be independent, we had it made. Room and board, free health care, etc... all taken care of. Even though I had a curfew, I could still be with my friends. Throwing stupid parties, giggling over crushes, making garters and mums for Homecoming, movie nights and sleepovers.
If you have fond memories of what used to be, or just curious about what's happening/happened, go visit your high school. Visit your teachers. Even if you feel you haven't achieved much in the way you thought you would, they'll welcome you with open arms. Glad to know that you've made it this far in life with only a handful of bumps and bruises showing. You're not too old or grown up to go back. Just look at Kotter.
What was your favorite high school memory, prank, whatever? (And I swear if you reference High School Musical or Varsity Blues I will find you and wag my finger at you)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Best Worst Movies Ever
In college, I once forced some friends of mine to watch Barbarella with me. I made them because they had a poster of the film in their common room though neither had actually watched the film. They both agreed it was absolutely horrible. Really guys? Jane Fonda rolling around a spaceship that's completely covered in shag carpeting?
My roommate Jackie and I used to watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Pure schlock but oh so good in it's campy extreme low budget-ness. I mean who can say no to alien klowns (yes spelled with a "K") that come down to Earth on a circus spaceship and capture humans in cotton candy cocoons! Actually I'm pretty sure everyone can say no to this film. But it was just so bad it became good.
I don't know what the fascination is with these "I thought they were a good idea" films. I'm sure some directors and writers vehemently refuse to believe that they ever had a hand in making them. But, like a horrific accident on the highway, you can't not look.
Take for example The Apple. A number of people know that this is one of my favorite films. I think I stated this fact when I was majoring in film in college. The incredulous look on my TA's face, and the sad shake of the head from my professor, was all I needed to realize that this movie clearly did not qualify in their "greatest movies ever made" category. Luckily I never mentioned my love for other films of the same ilk.
If you've never seen The Apple, you should watch it, just to uncomfortably sit through the sexual innuendo laden songs. Oh, yes, forgot to mention it's a musical. It came out in 1980 and was one of the many films to try to capitalize on the movie musical revival that films like Grease had started when it came out in 1978 (note that The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Who's Tommy both came out in 1975, but the public draw wasn't as great as Grease). Needless to say The Apple and many other films such as The Phantom of the Paradise and Shock Treatment (the sequel to Rocky Horror), and Grease 2 really bit the big one due to misshapen plots that attempted to link possible "hit" songs together. But I digress... I was talking about my love of really bad movies.
Pretty much all of the above mentioned films are owned by me and are watched on a pretty regular basis. But back to The Apple. The gist of the film is that it's set in the "future" (aka 1994) where Mr. Boogalow essentially runs the world via his music empire. He signs 2 Canadian folk singers by the name of Alphie and Bibi, and for the rest of the film it's the Book of Genesis (that's essentially where the apple in the title of the film comes from... and yes there's a very snazzy music/dance number in hell with a giant disco apple). Boogalow is the devil, and he uses his Cabbage Patch perm son and Predator hair daughter to seduce the 2 singers into his seedy music conglomerate. Lots of potential, very Dreamgirls meets... oh what the hell, it's absolutely horrible and they ended the film with the 2 singers becoming hippies and being led away to heaven by God (who they find out was the leader of the hippies the entire time, and was played poorly by Joss Ackland who you might know better as Hans from The Mighty Ducks).
I mean it's no Commando or Kindergarten Cop (don't know why I just referenced Schwarzenegger films) where it's lame but fun. Sometimes the worst movies ever made are the best. You just have to watch them like 2 or 3 times and be just a little over tipsy. And remember that when these films were being made, they always thought their special effects were the bomb. (I mean clearly better than Clash of the Titans or Jason and Argonauts, for sure.)
People probably won't get my obsession with these less than stellar films but hey, I don't judge when I notice you still have The Backstreet Boys and O-Town playing on your iPod. I mean, hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Or, in the case of a movie, by the fact that you've never heard of it and the title really sucks.
What's one of your guiltiest pleasure of a movie?
If you say The Notebook or A Walk to Remember, I won't be surprised, maybe a little disappointed but to each his own.
I leave you with some of my top "Meh" Movies That I Love Ever (had to whittle it down to 10):
1) The Apple - get into the apple dance
2) Shock Treatment - it's the acceptable face of the human race
3) Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension - A surgeon/scientist/rockstar played by Peter Weller (pre Robocop) c'mon!
4) Blow Dry - Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman as competitive hair stylists... original Hair Battle Spectacular anyone?
5) Barbarella - A death machine that's an organ/piano that orgasms you to death
6) Out Cold - like Caddyshack but at a ski resort and with Zach Galifanakis
7) Deep Rising - Treat Williams vs. a kraken beast and an explosion sequence that really doesn't make sense
8) Virtuosity - Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe... star power was not enough to get this film going
9) Hudson Hawk - the original Da Vinci Code with Bruce Willis... Yippee Kai Yay Mona Lisa
10) The Fast and the Furious - hotty mchot hot aka Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, oh and cars...
My roommate Jackie and I used to watch Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Pure schlock but oh so good in it's campy extreme low budget-ness. I mean who can say no to alien klowns (yes spelled with a "K") that come down to Earth on a circus spaceship and capture humans in cotton candy cocoons! Actually I'm pretty sure everyone can say no to this film. But it was just so bad it became good.
I don't know what the fascination is with these "I thought they were a good idea" films. I'm sure some directors and writers vehemently refuse to believe that they ever had a hand in making them. But, like a horrific accident on the highway, you can't not look.
Take for example The Apple. A number of people know that this is one of my favorite films. I think I stated this fact when I was majoring in film in college. The incredulous look on my TA's face, and the sad shake of the head from my professor, was all I needed to realize that this movie clearly did not qualify in their "greatest movies ever made" category. Luckily I never mentioned my love for other films of the same ilk.
If you've never seen The Apple, you should watch it, just to uncomfortably sit through the sexual innuendo laden songs. Oh, yes, forgot to mention it's a musical. It came out in 1980 and was one of the many films to try to capitalize on the movie musical revival that films like Grease had started when it came out in 1978 (note that The Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Who's Tommy both came out in 1975, but the public draw wasn't as great as Grease). Needless to say The Apple and many other films such as The Phantom of the Paradise and Shock Treatment (the sequel to Rocky Horror), and Grease 2 really bit the big one due to misshapen plots that attempted to link possible "hit" songs together. But I digress... I was talking about my love of really bad movies.
Pretty much all of the above mentioned films are owned by me and are watched on a pretty regular basis. But back to The Apple. The gist of the film is that it's set in the "future" (aka 1994) where Mr. Boogalow essentially runs the world via his music empire. He signs 2 Canadian folk singers by the name of Alphie and Bibi, and for the rest of the film it's the Book of Genesis (that's essentially where the apple in the title of the film comes from... and yes there's a very snazzy music/dance number in hell with a giant disco apple). Boogalow is the devil, and he uses his Cabbage Patch perm son and Predator hair daughter to seduce the 2 singers into his seedy music conglomerate. Lots of potential, very Dreamgirls meets... oh what the hell, it's absolutely horrible and they ended the film with the 2 singers becoming hippies and being led away to heaven by God (who they find out was the leader of the hippies the entire time, and was played poorly by Joss Ackland who you might know better as Hans from The Mighty Ducks).
I mean it's no Commando or Kindergarten Cop (don't know why I just referenced Schwarzenegger films) where it's lame but fun. Sometimes the worst movies ever made are the best. You just have to watch them like 2 or 3 times and be just a little over tipsy. And remember that when these films were being made, they always thought their special effects were the bomb. (I mean clearly better than Clash of the Titans or Jason and Argonauts, for sure.)
People probably won't get my obsession with these less than stellar films but hey, I don't judge when I notice you still have The Backstreet Boys and O-Town playing on your iPod. I mean, hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Or, in the case of a movie, by the fact that you've never heard of it and the title really sucks.
What's one of your guiltiest pleasure of a movie?
If you say The Notebook or A Walk to Remember, I won't be surprised, maybe a little disappointed but to each his own.
I leave you with some of my top "Meh" Movies That I Love Ever (had to whittle it down to 10):
1) The Apple - get into the apple dance
2) Shock Treatment - it's the acceptable face of the human race
3) Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension - A surgeon/scientist/rockstar played by Peter Weller (pre Robocop) c'mon!
4) Blow Dry - Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman as competitive hair stylists... original Hair Battle Spectacular anyone?
5) Barbarella - A death machine that's an organ/piano that orgasms you to death
6) Out Cold - like Caddyshack but at a ski resort and with Zach Galifanakis
7) Deep Rising - Treat Williams vs. a kraken beast and an explosion sequence that really doesn't make sense
8) Virtuosity - Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe... star power was not enough to get this film going
9) Hudson Hawk - the original Da Vinci Code with Bruce Willis... Yippee Kai Yay Mona Lisa
10) The Fast and the Furious - hotty mchot hot aka Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, oh and cars...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A nom n a nosh
Guacamole.
It is by far the most delicious dish/dip/side item that anyone has conjured up... I'm sure I will completely undermine that statement later down the road.
But for now, I can only say that I love guacamole. It involves the simplest of ingredients, all raw, and everyone can enjoy it. Carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, maybe a small baby (but I'm not sure about that last one).
I grew up in Texas so I've had my fair share of the dish in a variety of ways. With black beans and corn, with a number of different kinds of chiles added, with olives, etc. But, the most basic version of guacamole is still, hands down, the best.
Guacamole is generally comprised of these main ingredients: avocado, lime, cilantro, garlic, onion, tomato, salt and pepper. Deviations can obviously be made but I believe these basic items are the "building block" to some darn good guac.
The most important ingredient is the avocado, without this you essentially have a simple salsa. Many people complain that the avocados that they purchase are too hard and tasteless. It's definitely a spur of the moment decision to make guacamole but if you know ahead of time, buy some unripe avocados at least 2 days in advance. Unripe avocados usually look very green and shiny but are hard as rocks and extremely bland and no amount of salt or flavoring can change that. They're pretty much useless until they've ripened. To speed up the process, put the unripe avocados in a brown paper bag for a couple days. (I have been scoffed at a few times at this method but it definitely works, and it works with other fruit as well.) When avocados are ripe, they will feel a little squishy, yielding easily to any pressure you put on them, and most of the time the skin will darken to an almost greenish-black color. Don't let them get too ripe though because then they tend to develop black spots in the fleshy inside which make for a kinda gross situation. Prices obviously vary, but you can generally find avocados year round at the store. In the summertime, they are prone to being already ripe or at least ripe enough to mash. In the fall and winter time, they're generally unripe and need to be bought a few days in advance of whatever you're going to use them for.
Cilantro... you either hate it or you love it. When it comes to making guacamole, I am a firm believer in it. From me to you, reader, DO NOT substitute or omit the cilantro. I have a friend who absolutely abhors the stuff. Even the smell of it annoys her. But, she loves guac. She knows the cilantro is in there but the power of the dish just overtakes her unbearable hatred for cilantro. It's amazing what even a small amount of cilantro can do to your guacamole. It adds a texture to it that makes it 10x better than just mashed avocados alone. When you're at the store, you can usually find cilantro next to the parsley and other herbs. It looks just like parsley, so make sure you have the correct herb. If you've used it before, you'll know the distinct smell that cilantro has, a slightly sharp tang (that's as lame as I can describe it). Try to find the smallest, greenest bunch. I generally use cilantro only for Tex-Mex so I never really use a lot, and then it goes bad and I've wasted some good herbs. Remember to wash your cilantro when you get home. There's usually grit and bits of soil still on the plant. I like to mince it very fine and use a lot of it.
Lime juice and salt are another piece of the guacamole dish that should not be taken lightly. They essentially keep the avocado from turning brown once it's exposed to the air. Once it turns brown, you can still eat it but not for long, and the dish loses it visual appeal very quickly. 1/2 a lime to 2 avocados usually does the trick. I've tried using a lemon when I didn't have a lime on hand, and I'm not going to lie, the taste was way off. The taste of the lime really adds to the depth of the guac. I mean you wouldn't use a lemon to make a mojito so why in guac? When adding salt to the guacamole, be very careful. I add a dash at a time and mix everything thoroughly before adding more. It's very easy to over-salt the dish. And when you use tortilla chips (which are already covered in salt), you end up with a lip curling experience.
Garlic, onions and tomatoes are pretty self-explanatory. If you need help figuring that out, I'm sorry.
Below is a simple guacamole recipe. (Go ahead and use that molcajete you have just lying around. If you don't have one, a mixing bowl works fine) You can obviously put a lot or a little of each ingredient, but don't skip the cilantro! You can also add whatever extras you like (black beans, chipotle, olives, corn, jalapenos), but remember, always in moderation because you want all the flavors to blend well together.
Serves about 2-4 people (with tortilla chips):
2 avocados - ripened
3-5 cloves of garlic (minced)
1/4 cup of onions - whatever kind you like best (minced)
3-4 Tablespoons of cilantro (minced)
1 medium tomato (minced)
Juice from 1/2 or 1 whole lime
Salt and pepper to taste
In a mixing bowl, combine all the minced vegetables and mix thoroughly.
Cut each avocado in half. Using a knife, pierce the pit of the avocado and gently wiggle it back and forth until it comes loose from the middle of the avocado. Discard the pit (or do one of those growing things that we used to do as kids with water and toothpicks). With a spoon, scoop out all of the avocado meat, making sure to cut out any black spots that you find in the meat. Discard the avocado skins. Using the knife and spoon, mix/slice up the avocado and vegetables (you can also use a potato masher). Depending on how soft the avocado is, you may end up with some nice chunky dip. Add the lime juice and mix again. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Guacamole keeps for a couple days if stored in an airtight container. The top layer may turn brown overnight but that's ok. Add a little more lime juice to it to perk it up.
I hope you enjoy your guacamole! I like mine just with the basic ingredients but what do you like to put in yours?
It is by far the most delicious dish/dip/side item that anyone has conjured up... I'm sure I will completely undermine that statement later down the road.
But for now, I can only say that I love guacamole. It involves the simplest of ingredients, all raw, and everyone can enjoy it. Carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, maybe a small baby (but I'm not sure about that last one).
I grew up in Texas so I've had my fair share of the dish in a variety of ways. With black beans and corn, with a number of different kinds of chiles added, with olives, etc. But, the most basic version of guacamole is still, hands down, the best.
Guacamole is generally comprised of these main ingredients: avocado, lime, cilantro, garlic, onion, tomato, salt and pepper. Deviations can obviously be made but I believe these basic items are the "building block" to some darn good guac.
The most important ingredient is the avocado, without this you essentially have a simple salsa. Many people complain that the avocados that they purchase are too hard and tasteless. It's definitely a spur of the moment decision to make guacamole but if you know ahead of time, buy some unripe avocados at least 2 days in advance. Unripe avocados usually look very green and shiny but are hard as rocks and extremely bland and no amount of salt or flavoring can change that. They're pretty much useless until they've ripened. To speed up the process, put the unripe avocados in a brown paper bag for a couple days. (I have been scoffed at a few times at this method but it definitely works, and it works with other fruit as well.) When avocados are ripe, they will feel a little squishy, yielding easily to any pressure you put on them, and most of the time the skin will darken to an almost greenish-black color. Don't let them get too ripe though because then they tend to develop black spots in the fleshy inside which make for a kinda gross situation. Prices obviously vary, but you can generally find avocados year round at the store. In the summertime, they are prone to being already ripe or at least ripe enough to mash. In the fall and winter time, they're generally unripe and need to be bought a few days in advance of whatever you're going to use them for.
Cilantro... you either hate it or you love it. When it comes to making guacamole, I am a firm believer in it. From me to you, reader, DO NOT substitute or omit the cilantro. I have a friend who absolutely abhors the stuff. Even the smell of it annoys her. But, she loves guac. She knows the cilantro is in there but the power of the dish just overtakes her unbearable hatred for cilantro. It's amazing what even a small amount of cilantro can do to your guacamole. It adds a texture to it that makes it 10x better than just mashed avocados alone. When you're at the store, you can usually find cilantro next to the parsley and other herbs. It looks just like parsley, so make sure you have the correct herb. If you've used it before, you'll know the distinct smell that cilantro has, a slightly sharp tang (that's as lame as I can describe it). Try to find the smallest, greenest bunch. I generally use cilantro only for Tex-Mex so I never really use a lot, and then it goes bad and I've wasted some good herbs. Remember to wash your cilantro when you get home. There's usually grit and bits of soil still on the plant. I like to mince it very fine and use a lot of it.
Lime juice and salt are another piece of the guacamole dish that should not be taken lightly. They essentially keep the avocado from turning brown once it's exposed to the air. Once it turns brown, you can still eat it but not for long, and the dish loses it visual appeal very quickly. 1/2 a lime to 2 avocados usually does the trick. I've tried using a lemon when I didn't have a lime on hand, and I'm not going to lie, the taste was way off. The taste of the lime really adds to the depth of the guac. I mean you wouldn't use a lemon to make a mojito so why in guac? When adding salt to the guacamole, be very careful. I add a dash at a time and mix everything thoroughly before adding more. It's very easy to over-salt the dish. And when you use tortilla chips (which are already covered in salt), you end up with a lip curling experience.
Garlic, onions and tomatoes are pretty self-explanatory. If you need help figuring that out, I'm sorry.
Below is a simple guacamole recipe. (Go ahead and use that molcajete you have just lying around. If you don't have one, a mixing bowl works fine) You can obviously put a lot or a little of each ingredient, but don't skip the cilantro! You can also add whatever extras you like (black beans, chipotle, olives, corn, jalapenos), but remember, always in moderation because you want all the flavors to blend well together.
Serves about 2-4 people (with tortilla chips):
2 avocados - ripened
3-5 cloves of garlic (minced)
1/4 cup of onions - whatever kind you like best (minced)
3-4 Tablespoons of cilantro (minced)
1 medium tomato (minced)
Juice from 1/2 or 1 whole lime
Salt and pepper to taste
In a mixing bowl, combine all the minced vegetables and mix thoroughly.
Cut each avocado in half. Using a knife, pierce the pit of the avocado and gently wiggle it back and forth until it comes loose from the middle of the avocado. Discard the pit (or do one of those growing things that we used to do as kids with water and toothpicks). With a spoon, scoop out all of the avocado meat, making sure to cut out any black spots that you find in the meat. Discard the avocado skins. Using the knife and spoon, mix/slice up the avocado and vegetables (you can also use a potato masher). Depending on how soft the avocado is, you may end up with some nice chunky dip. Add the lime juice and mix again. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Guacamole keeps for a couple days if stored in an airtight container. The top layer may turn brown overnight but that's ok. Add a little more lime juice to it to perk it up.
I hope you enjoy your guacamole! I like mine just with the basic ingredients but what do you like to put in yours?
A New Leaf
It appears that I'm jumping on the blogger bandwagon. I generally enjoy reading other people's observations and lives through their postings, but I guess with a multitude of time on my hands I've decided to give a crack at ye old blog/post thingy..
Being a completely random type of person, I hope to translate that into this blog. Scattered tidbits and life observations, new and old recipes that I love or have failed on, little inane stories that I've been meaning to write out, movies or music or styles that I've just fallen in love/like with (many of which were soooo last year apparently).
I'm hoping that you, dear reader who happened to stumble upon this sad sad excuse for a blog, will find some usefulness out of this whole experiment or at least a momentary bit of diversion from whatever you were doing before you saw this post.
And now onto the first (technically second) post...
Being a completely random type of person, I hope to translate that into this blog. Scattered tidbits and life observations, new and old recipes that I love or have failed on, little inane stories that I've been meaning to write out, movies or music or styles that I've just fallen in love/like with (many of which were soooo last year apparently).
I'm hoping that you, dear reader who happened to stumble upon this sad sad excuse for a blog, will find some usefulness out of this whole experiment or at least a momentary bit of diversion from whatever you were doing before you saw this post.
And now onto the first (technically second) post...
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